Job Title: Keeper of the Alarm
Job Description: Person to be responsible for waking individuals when necessary.
- No formal education necessary
- Must possess a working alarm device capable of waking even the soundest sleeper.
- Must be flexable on the times the device will alarm
- Must be cheerful when waking those necessary (or at least not violent and angry)
- Must be able to wake only those necessary while leaving others in peaceful slumber
- Must make sure alarm device is far enough away as to not be able to silence device too many times allowing the Keeper of the Alarm to sleep past desired wake time
- Person must be willing to be yelled at, moaned at, have objects thrown at them without becoming angry
- Person must be willing to take blame for others being late for their morning appointments
- Person must be persistant when waking the individual at the scheduled wake time
- Even after the subject of the waking is "awake" the Keeper of the Alarm must return to ensure that the wakee is truely awake. This process will continue until subject is sufficently awake as to take charge of their own actions
- Days of work will be Monday - Friday during the school year with occasional Saturday and Sunday (this year). Next year as the church schedule changes waking of individuals within the house is manditory. Saturday wakings depend upon male head of household's work demands.
- It is HIGHLY recommended that Alarm Keeper provide warm, yummy wake up treats to subjects of waking. This action will elicit smiles and happy individuals
- No experience necessary but it is helpful
- Position is open for immediate filling
- Position length is until death
Pay: There is no compensation for this position
If you are interested in this position (I beg you) to please apply immediately to 555-6500.
- No formal education necessary
- Must possess a working alarm device capable of waking even the soundest sleeper.
- Must be flexable on the times the device will alarm
- Must be cheerful when waking those necessary (or at least not violent and angry)
- Must be able to wake only those necessary while leaving others in peaceful slumber
- Must make sure alarm device is far enough away as to not be able to silence device too many times allowing the Keeper of the Alarm to sleep past desired wake time
- Person must be willing to be yelled at, moaned at, have objects thrown at them without becoming angry
- Person must be willing to take blame for others being late for their morning appointments
- Person must be persistant when waking the individual at the scheduled wake time
- Even after the subject of the waking is "awake" the Keeper of the Alarm must return to ensure that the wakee is truely awake. This process will continue until subject is sufficently awake as to take charge of their own actions
- Days of work will be Monday - Friday during the school year with occasional Saturday and Sunday (this year). Next year as the church schedule changes waking of individuals within the house is manditory. Saturday wakings depend upon male head of household's work demands.
- It is HIGHLY recommended that Alarm Keeper provide warm, yummy wake up treats to subjects of waking. This action will elicit smiles and happy individuals
- No experience necessary but it is helpful
- Position is open for immediate filling
- Position length is until death
Pay: There is no compensation for this position
If you are interested in this position (I beg you) to please apply immediately to 555-6500.
2 comments:
You must know my kids.
Who the heck would want that job??? (ha ha- like we havachoice!)
I can't wait for summer- everyone sleeps in or takes care of eachother and no one disturbs mom! (because mom turns off the TV when she gets up :) Small price to pay to sleep in!
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