Ok... Here's the update

I've been dying to shout this from the rooftops since September.



Yes, we are adding to our family one last time. I've mainly been down and out due to my wonderful connection to what I have lovenly named my "barf bowl". At 8 weeks into this one the "party" began and continues to this day. I have moments of feeling better-ish that allow me to pretend to be "normal"

I was waiting to tell anyone until we told our parents. We were finally able to do that a few weeks ago. For those of you who knew our secret and kept it quiet - Thank You! I couldn't hide my "barf bowl" for very long.

I also have kept this a secret because I didn't want our decision to have another to be the topic of discussion until it was "too late". I got several nasty and negative comments when we got preg with our last amazing little one. I can only imagine what those same people will say when they hear about this one.

In the comment section no one has my permission to say any of the following:
- "Are you sure that was a wise decision?"
- "Don't you know what causes that?"
- "(special needs son) needs so much attention, how on earth can you take care of another?"
- "Can you afford another?"
- "How can you "be there" for so many children when they need you?"
- fill in the blank with anything negative....

My husband and I are VERY excited for this one (our 5th). Don't spoil our excitement with your negativity if you plan to "hit and run". I'm sorry if I sound very defensive but this is a VERY sensitive subject for me. I don't think any of the negative people even visit my blog... just in case they do happen across it I don't want to hear it. I got beat down hard by people I thought would be excited or at least neutral with my last one.

Enough of that.... On with life!

I am still alive!!!

I'm finally popping in just to let you all know that I am still alive.

At the end of October my computer's powersupply said "good bye". A couple of weeks later I had a beautiful brand new one installed and my baby was up and humming a sweet tune again..... Then my motherboard died 2 weeks later.

I've set up a temporary home on my kid's computer. It feels so strange. Keyboard is different.. monitor is smaller... All my favorite bookmarked sites are no longer bookmarked. etc...

My husband replaced one of the capasitors that was bulging on the motherboard. I'm hoping that will fix the problem. I haven't had a chance to hook everything up yet. All day and most of the day tomorrow I am working on backing up my "life"... I mean my hard drive. I freaked out when I thought I lost everything on it. I have information and pictures on there that are not anywhere else. Since my kid's computer only has a 1.0 USB port I have to have a LOT of patience. 80+ Gigs can take a long time to back up.

I do have some news to share that I will save until I get back on here to post. For those of you who know my news... keep it to yourself until I get the chance to get back on here.

And now.. I say good night. It's about 3:30am and I'm tired.

Simon's Cat in TV Dinner

This is a MUST watch.

It is a lot funnier if you have cats. It's funny even if you don't.

ENJOY!!!

BTW - T&M thanks for the video! Yes I stole it!

Dragon Girl's Dragon

I promised Dragon Girl that I would post her latest project. She is sooo AMAZING!! I handed her 17 pages that made up the dragon and 10 pages of instructions. I also handed her a glue stick and a pair of kid scissors. This is what she did with all of that:

I took a bunch of pictures as she went along. It has been about 1 1/2 weeks (poss 2 weeks) since she started. That "thing" called school seems to get in the way. LOL

The Head - Front View (it's not finished - this was at the end of day 1)



The Head - Side View.




Finished the head and started in on the neck.




Front claws done and some of the belly.




More of the body has been finished. You can see Tinker Bell wanted to be in the pict. She loves her big sister!




Back legs and claws are now done.




DONE!!!! Isn't that just awesome!




Top View -




3/4 View -



_________________________________________________________

This is not her first project. Her first one was a tiny Iguana. She never finished it's tail or the platform. She likes to play with her creations when they're mostly done and has a hard time finishing. The Iguana ended up being squished a bit and we never got decent picts of it.

My husband just handed her the first project to keep her busy (she was bored). We never thought it would actually turn out right. We've had to pick up our jaws many times with this little girl. She received NO help from anyone. Not even help reading and figuring out the directions.

Snuggles

I have to share a conversation between Jabber Box and my husband tonight (Sunday).

(When putting the kids to bed, often times my husband will climb into bed with one or each of the kids in turn and snuggle with them for a little while. My husband started doing this to get Power Ranger to quiet down when he's too riled to fall asleep. Once, some time ago, Jabber Box asked to be snuggled too and so the tradition began.)

JB: Daddy, will you come snuggle with me tonight in my bed?

Daddy: Yes, JB, I'll come snuggle with you.

JB: You have to snuggle with me every night. Every night until I die, OK?

JB: Well... every night until you die, OK?

~

Nick Names

Ok... seems that most people have nick names for their kids. I do get tired of using initials or just saying "my oldest..." blah blah blah. So, I've finally come up with nick names for my kids. I've run it past them and they are cool with them. Well... most are cool with them.


First let me introduce you to Jabber Box and Dragon Girl.



Jabber Box LOVES to talk. He is a very happy kid and loves to lead. He is a HUGE help around the house and is eager to live life.

Dragon Girl loves Dragons and dinosaurs. She is VERY creative and is always making her own craft projects. For several years she has wanted to be a Paleontologist when she grows up. I'm interested to see what she ends up being.

(FYI: Dragon Girl is older by 4 minutes)



Next... I'd like to introduce Power Ranger.



Power Ranger loves... well.. you guessed.. The Power Rangers. He can be bigger than life. He has a scream that can be heard on the moon. He also has a certain amount of screams that must be emitted every day. He never misses getting them all out. LOL. Some of those screams are pure joy... others are expressing his disagreement with how things are playing out in front of him. Power Ranger keeps life very interesting. When he's happy his eyes dance and my heart overflows with love.



Finally... I'd like to introduce you to Tinker Bell.



Tinker Bell LOVES pretty dancing dresses. Especially ones that look like Tinker Bell's dress. She is my girlie girl. Loves her baby dolls and dancing around the house. Her speech blows me out of the water. I never knew a 2 year old could talk like her.



Well... There are my little cuties. They entertain me and keep me on my toes. I LOVE who they are and am eager to see who they will become.

The twins have overcome HUGE obsticles... born 11 weeks early, all the "joys" the NICU can provide, various bouts with infections - Dragon Girl has had lots of pneumonia and Jabber Box has had countless ear infections / surgeries (tubes, adenoids, tonsils etc..).

Power Ranger was born with a condition called: microcephaly lymphoedema chorioretinal dysplasia. Google it if you want to know more. He's the first one diagnosed with this at the local children's hospital. It's a pretty rare disorder and no one really knows that much about it. We're kinda like gunnea pigs in the genetics department. He's already exceeded the levels that genetics thought he could achieve. He's in the special needs program at school. He has really come a LONG way during the past school year. I'm soo excited to see how far he gets this year. Last year he finished the school year being able to read his name, cow, dog and cat. He can sorta write his name. It looks like a bunch of circles but we know what he's trying to write.

Tinker Bell is our first full term babe. Only 3 weeks early. Her ability to form complete sentences at her young age keeps me amazed. I've never had a child her age be so easy to understand what she wants or doesn't want. She is a total gift.

sick kids

Quick post. I've been very busy trying to remember who got what when. I've been dishing out the tylenol, motrin, benedryl etc.. like it was water. Runny noses (4 of them), fevers (up to 105.5) and general crankiness have been the main reasons behind the sudden drugging my my children.

I have labeled all but one of my kids "healthy" so far. Shoved whomever I could out the door and into the hands of patient and gifted people put in charge of making them smarter.

I hate looking at a worksheet with vague directions on it and try to figure out what in the world my daughter is supposed to do with it. I'm talking about the homework that gets sent home while she's out sick. Sometimes I can figure it out on my own.... others I have to beg her twin to come over and please try to explain what's going on. (the clueless teaching the clueless).

These have been the first of MANY days lost to germs.

Hershey’s Glossy Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting

To me... it's still Friday night (even though it's now 4am Saturday). I recently finished my monthly church newsletter. I decided to go ahead and post the recipe from it here so others could print it out if you so choose.

Annette - this is the beginning of the list of recipies you asked for. Keep an eye out.. I will be posting more.



(I got this from Hershey's webiste. It was attached to the bottom of a cake recipe. I never could find this recipe by itself. It tastes VERY chocolatey and not overly sweet.)


Hershey’s Glossy Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 cups Hershey’s Mini Chips (Semi-Sweet Chocolate)
2 cups powdered sugar
3/4 cup dairy sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Milk

Place small chocolate chips in medium microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on HIGH (100%) 1 minute; stir. If necessary, microwave at HIGH an additional 15 seconds at a time, stirring after each heating, just until chips are melted when stirred. Add powdered sugar, sour cream and vanilla; beat until smooth. Add milk, 1/2 teaspoon at a time, for a thinner consistency. About 2 1/2 cups frosting.

The MOST amazing teachers in the world!!!

This morning we were running late. My son who is in the special needs 1st grade was really "off" this morning too. This combination can be explosive. He's already cranky and crying... then to stress him out with having to hurry can be just too much for him.

I noticed that when my husband held him and just rocked him that my little Power Ranger (what he calls himself) was able to chill out and actually get some stuff done (eat, get dressed etc...).

By the time we got to school we were still in hurry mode. I had the twins take off to their door to get in the school while I carried Power Ranger to his class that were standing outside by the busses. Students were still being unloaded. I could feel him relaxing in my arms. I do this so he's as relaxed and destressed as possible before pawning him off on his teacher and the aids.

Then we walked to the cafeteria where more than half the kids eat breakfast. This is where it got LOUD!!! Kids yelling, freaking out, panic attacks, running whever they felt like it. Meanwhile these ANGELS stood nearby making sure the kids didn't hurt themselves or anyone else. They used soft words and gentle hands to bring these kids back from whever their minds had taken them.

These women are true angels without wings. They deal with children with all sorts of mental and physical disorders. They keep some level of order and figure out how each of their student's "tick". They are the calmest and most tender hearted women in the world. They can be firm when necessary so don't assume their sweet nature means they are all pushovers.

We are blessed to have the same teacher this year that Power Ranger had last year. It took both of us working with him for about 3 months to figure out how to push the right buttons to get the right actions out of him. Since she already knows him we don't lose that 3 months of figuring him out again. Mrs. "C" got him to read about 4 words last year. I'm eager to see how far she can push him this year.



Teaching is a TALENT!!! It takes a great deal of patience (that I don't have). I am always grateful for these men and women who take on the HUGE responsibility of molding my children into intelligent, creative, well rounded adults. They have skills and talents that I do not have. But I truely believe that God gave an extra serving of love and patience to these women who take on the huge responsibility of teaching and nurturing the special needs children. I wish I could give them all awards and special recognition just for them being them.

It's NOT dead yet!!!

I don't like accepting that something is "dead" until it really is dead.

I have been having some problems with my washing machine for the last 2 years. The water coming into the tub has been decreasing very slightly but consistantly over time. By the time we moved into this house this past December the cold water was down to a trickle. We replaced the hoses thinking perhaps there was some buildup over the years that we couldn't see.

Didn't help.

So, I resorted to drastic measures. I switched the hot and cold lines so that when our machine said "cold" it was really Hot water and vice-versa. I washed everything on Warm since that was the coldest I could possibly get the water. This "warm" setting was a very hot warm too.

I've been sitting here wondering what to do. I've been dying to have my "excuse" to buy a new washing machine. Only problem is $$. It's around $1,000 to get the one I want (a front loader) and we don't have $ for even a repair guy to come out.. let alone the $ for my "dream machine".

So.. it finally dawned on me... There is a website out there that I found many years ago when our window a/c unit died. After spending a LOT of money to get it (It was a vertical one and not a cheapie horizontal one - we had small and tall windows) I couldn't bring myself to replace it. We must fix it!!!

www.repairclinic.com

MEMORIZE that address!!!

You can buy a part for pretty much ANYTHING you have in your house that might need a part. There are also instructions for some items that help you to fix the thing. If you really get stuck you can e-mail them and they WILL respond!! We had to ask a question that the site didn't answer and the answer was intelligent and well thought out!

When I was on the site I saw the part I need (or think I need) and it was about $30ish. If I called some dude to come out and say "boo" to me it would cost about $150... then the $30 part on top of that. Got me to thinking... I would love to see what I can find.

These images were taken with my cell phone (so I could see how everything goes back together). Sorry they are so lousy.

This is the part in the back of the washer.


Here it is away from the washer... about to be attacked!



I had started cleaning out the screens when I thought... WOAH!!! I need to grab a pict of the junk.. it would go great with my blog.



This is just a shot of some of the junk I was getting out of the screens.



So.. after adding water in those inlets.. and banging it on the counter a bunch, I was able to get quite a large amount of those little metal chunks out. Those are from using the machine for 11 years in a house built in 1911. Every time we turned on the bathtub, bits of rusted metal would come out at first. I just didn't associate the junk in the tub with what could be wrong with the washing machine.

I am now... washing a load in COLD water for the first time in a couple of years!!! At some point in the near future I would love to buy a new water inlet valve. It is still not back to "normal" but it saved me a TON of $$ by doing it myself. ;-)

I was so happy at what I was able to do, and for how much non money I did it for, I had to share it with you all.

Withdrawls - again

I love reading books. I really get into the characters and enjoy the ebb and flow of the story line. I try to keep my reading to one chapter per night (gives me something to dream about). About 2/3rds of the way through a book it gets to the "good part" and I end up reading more than 1 chapter. I can't possibly go to bed with the story hanging like that.. it could give me nightmares. LOL

I just finished another of Brandon Mull's Fablehaven books (#2). I've been debating about making a late night dash to Wallyworld to pick up #3 just so I don't have to feel disconnected from my "family". Instead... I'm here, trying to waste time so I will just go to bed.

I think I'll goof around the Fablehaven website. It's AMAZING!!!!

www.fablehaven.com

Tomorrow.... Book #3.... is MINE!!!!!

(When are the school book order forms coming out? The have really good deals on books. I need to get my fix somewhere).

We survived!!!

Well, the first day of school has now passed. I remember being sooo anxious and scared about this day when I was a kid. My kids, thankfully, seem to have not inherited this overwhelming fear. They jump in with both feet excited to see where life takes them.

They went on about their teachers (they went to music class today), the different kids in their class as well as on the playground. They had not a negative thing to say. Their eyes sparkled as they talked about the day's events.

Only one thing became a speed bump in their day.... everyone "lost" their brand new lunch boxes. One found hers in the lost and found box. The other two found theirs in their class rooms. After several laps around the school we were finally ready to head for home.

Every day will get smoother and faster. I hate these first few days where we're getting our groove on. I wish things just worked perfect from day one. (I know that's unrealistic). When trying to figure out where to drop off and pick up my kids I keep winter in mind. When there are 3' - 4' mounds of snow piled up, am I in the best place to wait? As everyone else settles into their groove... it will be easier for me to get us into ours.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch... Our youngest has never been "alone" all day. Last year, her brother was only going to school for 1/2 day. She really didn't notice him missing because his school time hit about the time she wanted to take a nap. This year.. boy! All day she asked for each of her siblings. She just doesn't understand where everyone went and why she can't go there too. I've never had just one kid at home either. It's a different experience.

Tribute to my husband and what he does everyday

OK... Over the years I have often been asked.. "What does your husband do for a living?" Most of the time I say "A little of everything". Well.. here is a photo walk down a SMALL portion of what he does.

I just HAD to buy this shirt for him when I saw it. (I even took it off the mannequin in the store.) It is SOOOOO TRUE!!!!



The next 3 picts are from the same shoot. He use to be an Art Director and he built this set on the front porch of our house during a very rainy night. The last of the 3 includes our twins when they were very young.







The next few are from Ren Fests we've worked on. I sewed the costumes for the guys and the horses in the jousting pict. (Sad note: A couple of months after this pict was taken, the girl with the blue bandanna on her head was kicked by one of those horses and died from the injuries).





Another of his many jobs is doing 2D/3D animation. This is one of the things necessary to make his composites later. Check out the image in the sphere.



These are from a more recent shoot in Southern Utah. He's more of a grip on this shoot.





Typically..... THIS is what he looks like. He does a LOT of editing which is less exciting.



So there you have it. I've barely skimmed the surface of what he does for a living. Over the years I have really gotten to know what the back of his head looks like backlit by the glow of several monitors. Every now and then he'll turn around and I'll get butterflies like when you meet someone cute for the first time. I forget what he looks like and it's like "Woah! Who are you? You're cute!"

I don't have a pict uploaded but the most typical pose I see these days (when not of the back of his head) is of him crashed somewhere. I've never known anyone to be able to make a "bed" anywhere as quickly as he does. He's used a rock for a pillow in the past when desperate. He's learned to sleep hard and quick when working on these long projects (18 - 24 hour days).

Honey! I love ya!

Sorry I've been remiss

Ok... I feel I've abandoned my loyal viewers. (all 1 or 2 of you). I promise I have a bunch to update. We've had birthdays and I have new cake designs to share. With school starting next week I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (I've seen it.. they really do run around). I'm not ready!!!! Can someone please inform the school that I need another week. Thanks.



I am soo behind on watching movies. We go in binges renting a bunch for a while then we go without for a long time. We have a steady "payment plan" with a local video rental place. Rent 3 movies in a month and we've broke even. If we rent any more than that (and don't have late fees) then we're saving some $$. I have a new favorite that I need to add to my list. It's Jumper with Hayden Christensen and Samuel Jackson (that man gets around!).






I like the flick because it TOTALLY matches a dream I've had for many years. The ability to see a place or think of a place and just *poof* you're there. Every time I find myself driving a long way (like to visit my parents in Arizona) I will see an open spot in traffic WAAAYY ahead. I think "Man! I wish I could just pop myself up in that spot and shave off a few minutes". I would then watch the clock and see just how long it took me to drive that distance. 2 min. 5 min. 7 min. Whatever.. I always wished I could just poof my way ahead through the boring parts so I could spend more time at my final destination. Of course the movie is made by Hollywood and has a "standard" to maintain. It is PG-13 for a reason.

I just LOVE the idea of thinking of a place and being there. Poof, I'm at the grocery store (which I hate)... Poof, I'm home with the load of groceries. I didn't have to almost get hit by the young college student in a hurry to show off for his friends.. I didn't have to sit behind the car with a couple who really should either get married or get a room. I wouldn't have to worry if the van will start this time or not.

*POOF*

Memories

Ok... I'm copying this from a friend's blog (because she said so!)

1. Leave one memory that you and I had together, as a comment on my blog. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! (If you don't know which one to pick, what was your first memory/impression of me, then?)

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Being the computer geek that I am... and the fact that we have 2 cats.... I just HAD to post this video.

Thanks honey, for the link....

Changing things around

I just wanted to let you know that you're not going crazy. I have been fidgeting with the layout and some colors of this page. I get restless and have to tweak. I have always hated how much wasted space there was on the edges of the blog. I'm just glad that blogger/google lets us tweak to our hearts content.

My plan was to make this page viewable by the lowest resolution display that visits here. That was 1024 x 768. If you have this resolution and have a hard time seeing everything (you have to scroll left to right) please let me know. Thanks!!

No Regrets!!!

After reading another blog I got to thinking about regrets. I had to share this experience with you all....

Looking back on my life, I have a LOT of regrets from when I was a teenager. Before I met my husband I decided that I was tired of regrets. They can be very haunting images and feelings. One day I got brave and took a trip by myself to a tennis match I had been dying to see (well... it was a goof around and be silly match). (At the time I was really into tennis and I had a huge crush on both these guys).



I live daily with lots of anxiety so this was a HUGE step for me. I booked my flight, booked my rental car, bought the event ticket... all for ONE. I had a BLAST!!! Spent a ton of $ for not much but in reality it was a HUGE event (for me). This was the first time I had ever done something that I wanted to do without having anyone else there as a crutch.

I can't always afford to do what I really want but I try my best to "live without regrets". Now, if I'm offered an opportunity (no matter how it comes into my life) I ask myself "will I regret this if I do?? Will I regret this if I don't?"

I'm trying to live my life where I get to make the decisions... not my anxiety. There are times when anxiety wins out. It's a choice I make to not be medicated and I have to be willing to accept that there will be times when it wins out over my true desires.

LIVE WITHOUT REGRET!!!!

K turns 2!!!

My little peanut (monkey, princess, goofball) turned 2 last month!!! I can't believe it. Time flies soooo fast. This year's birthday theme was "Blues clues goes Hawaiian". I made a Blues Clues cake and bought a bunch of Hawaiian stuff at the local dollar store. Everyone had a good time.

This is the cake I made:

Stage 1 - the cakes cut out into Blue (it took 2 cakes. First cake was the head and one ear - second cake was the other ear. Left over cake was used for Strawberry Shortcake - YUM)



Stage 2 - starting to put on the frosting



Stage 3 - Almost done.



Stage 4 - Done! I was pretty impressed with myself since I was using sandwich ziploc bags (one burst at the seams) and those screw on tips you find that are for the canned frosting - I need to find / buy a new pro cake decorating kit).



Here is our birthday girl. Decked out in her Hula skirt. In this shot she is trying to poke the grass into an air cleaner that is just out of frame. She spent the rest of the evening flipping the skirt up and saying "weeee" or holding it up in front of her face (she was "hiding") and saying "Peek-a-Boo!" every time she parted the bunch of grass.



She LOVED that skirt. It is now long gone. That grass does not like being squished and the more she moved (and flipped it all over the place) the more it fell out. Our house looked like a barn strewn with straw. Before the cows and sheep started moving in we had to remove the skirt. It was fun while it lasted.

Christian the Lion

Another awesome video I had to share.



There are other videos you can go find with more pictures. This video cut it a bit short and what you didn't get to see was after their reunion the other lions in the pride also accepted these two guys. A female came up and started rubbing against their legs. What a sweet reunion.

The Dash

I just saw this poem / video. Makes you stop and think.

I'm doing pretty well with my dash.... But, I know I could do better.

http://www.dashpoemmovie.com/

Bummer

Miscarriages SUCK!!! I have just been "blessed" with #5 (in my lifetime I mean). I say "blessed" because everyone always says that they have been "blessed" when they get pregnant.... how is someone supposed to label a miscarriage? Cursed? I refuse to go there. I use to be a very sad pessimistic person... always saying "woe is me" "my life sucks because.... (put nearly anything here)". I have been working hard on being a more positive person.

My sweet husband is the only person who knew I was even pregnant. So, he is the only one I could talk with about this. I decided that my blog can know. Only those people who really care about me will read this so they are entitled to know. As far as I know I have an audience of 3 - my husband, my sweet friend Annette and her husband. All these people either know or will know very soon anyway.

On the positive side, I can get all the things farther done that needed to get done BEFORE getting pregnant.

Last night I got mad about this (I'm allowed) so I took it out on our elliptical machine. After burning 550 calories I felt the machine had been abused enough.

WARNING TMI: Miscarriages are kinda strange and creepy though. I am supposed to watch for what comes out to see if the "baby" comes out. (if it doesn't then it has to be surgically removed - been there, done that.... not fun). Today I saw a mass of stuff about the size of a quarter that could very likely have been the "baby". It's such an odd experience to see it then proceed to flush it like one does a dead goldfish. What else am I supposed to do with it? One day it's our future, someone who will change the footprint our family has in the world, someone who will bring lots of laughter as well as some tears to our home, someone to teach and watch their eyes sparkle when something amazing is discovered... then a few days later it's just a "dead goldfish". I know it sounds icky but it's what just happened.

I am ok about this though. I have my moments of being frustrated but I understand that these things happen for reasons. I would rather wait and have a healthy pregnancy and child then to force one to survive that shouldn't have.

So all my dreams of our future remain dreams. For now.

------------

P.S. To my dear sweet husband. THANK YOU for being so compassionate and helping me talk things through. You listen when I need to be heard. You are strong when I need a shoulder to cry on. You give me hope when it's hard to feel hopeful. Thank You!

Making life fun

After lunch we have an hour of quite time here. The kids can either read, write a story/letter/journal or take a nap. Something in their rooms that is a quiet activity. Typically the youngest 2 take a nap.

When the quiet hour was over the twins wanted to do something but had to stay quiet so the other 2 could sleep. So.. I sent them outside to play. They were looking for bugs, snails, ladybugs etc... and playing with the few items in the yard they could find to entertain themselves. At one point I checked up on them and they were playing with an ant pile. I had a bad encounter with a pile of ants as a child and I didn't want them to repeat my experience so I decided they needed to be distracted with something else. I told them that they could yank out anything they wanted in the backyard. There were lots of long grasses at the fenceline.. I was hoping they would take them out for me. ;-p

My son turned to me with his eyes wide with excitement and asked if he could take out the trees. (We have 3 dead trees in the yard that do need to be removed).... so I said "sure". Both kids started bouncing up and down screaming "we get to take out the trees!!!". In a VERY short amount of time I heard new yelling... "We did it!!! We took out the tree!!!". I went out to find that, sure enough, they had removed one of the tres, roots and all. They just kept pushing and pulling until it came loose.

Onward and forward to tree #2. Yanked that one in no time. This one broke off at the ground. I'm thrilled because I was dreading having to do this task. Tree #3 was going to be a bit more difficult. It was larger and actually had grow a bit since it was planted. The twins and I took it down with a bit of coaxing. WOW... 3 dead trees down in less than 1/2 hour!
By this time the younger kids were awake and we all went outside to trim bushes, pull weeds and crabgrass.

We have 2 bushes out front that my daughter asked what they were. I said I had no clue. She decided that they needed names. We decided on Bob and Larry. The short round one looked like Bob and the taller one looked like Larry:



So now we're naming our plants. What fun.

Next, I was doing some serious trimming of everything and creating quite a pile of yard waste. We had filled the yard waste recycle can and now needed everything to be put in a pile in the backyard until we could fit it in the can. As the kids picked up each armload they pretended it was money. They started sounding like Mr. Crabs from Spongebob. 3 kids yelling "money" and grabbing an armload of weeds and plant clippings until the job was done. NEVER one complaint about having to work. This was not work to them.. this was FUN. They would have continued on if I had more steam.

I loved their perspectives. They realized that we were making the yard pretty for everyone (not just mom and dad). They got excited to see the huge pile we had all made together. I have been blessed with these amazing kids.

Friends

I grew up with 2 brothers. This left me with 2 choices. I could either play "boy games" or I could keep to myself and do girlie stuff. Often times you could find me playing with matchbox cars, building cities out of wooden blocks or legos or slicing my finger (again) while trying to carve something with one of my dad's pocket knives.

Other times you would find me sitting on the floor of my bedroom with my babydoll pretending that I was a little mommy or dressing up my one barbie doll to go out on a hot date with no one since I did not have Ken (my mom didn't want me undressing a boy).

I learned early on to be happy being alone. You learn a lot about how you tick when you're alone. Through the years I found myself gravitating towards strong personality people. Why? Not sure. I think it has something to do with the fact that they can stand on their own two feet. They don't need a crutch to make it through a day.

So... here I am, in my mid 30's. Still feeling that I can "make it on my own". Friends are a nice icing on the cake. Not a necessary part of life. Then one comes along and proves me wrong. Time after time she has proved me wrong but I continue to forget that it's ok to need a friend.

I guess it all stems back from 2nd grade. I had a best friend. Regina. Small, cute Hispanic girl with a twinkle in her eye and a bounce in her step. Her short curly hair boinged when she walked. She befriended a tall awkward girl with the longest brown hair anyone had ever seen. We were quite the team. Every day was the best... until one day. She wanted to play "wedding day" and I wanted to play "apartment" (where we pretended to be 2 single girls living in the same apartment getting ready for a job, date etc... I know, boring to all you guys). That was the beginning of the end. For some reason I was now an outcast. I had grown another head and possibly a claw and a hunchback. I was the rejected one. She turned most of our small class against me with her sharp tounge and heartbreaking words. This is the first time anyone had ever so openly rejected me. I turned inward and never gave my heart to anyone in friendship until many years later.

That sweet friend (Denise) lives far away in Baltimore. We still talk but not enough. We do have a wonderful friendship though. We pickup right where we left off.. as if it has been a mear few days since our last conversation rather than months or years.

I've kept to myself (yes I have the gift to talk anyone's ear off if they let their guard down). It takes a really special person to pearce through this tough facade I have created. My dear sweet friend Annette does it with ease. I have said things to her in confidence that I never thought I would hear slip from my tounge. Yet, I find her so easy to talk with. She is the first person since Denise that I don't have to put on an act for. She takes me as I am... flaws and all. She expects no more from me than I am able to give. Sometimes she knows what I need even before I realize that I need it. I also hate to ask anyone for anything (I don't want to be a burden to anyone) and Annette knows just when to volunteer.

To my dear friends... THANK YOU!!!

(P.S. To Annette's Dear Sweet Wonderful husband... THANK YOU for letting me steal so much of her time. My time with your wife is better than any therapy session. LOL. She lifts my spirit and keeps me grounded at the same time. Thank you for not getting mad when she meant to be here for only an hour and it's after midnight and we're still gabbing away. Thank you.)

Anniversary!

(This picture is a pretty good example of our personalities. Hubby running the camera and me goofing off.)

I want to wish a very HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my Main Squeeze!

I'm not a poetry writer so I searched around and found something that comes close to what I want to say...

_____________________________________________

For better or worse, through thick and thin,

you've been there by my side

sharing the laughter and the tears

through life's uncertain ride.

We don't know what the future has

in store for you and me

but this I know, without a doubt,

the best is yet to be.
______________________________________________

When this all began . . .

(warning video is a bit racy)

Is there a Doctor in the House?

Here it is.. Friday night... and I'm seriously missing my Friday night visit with The Doctor.

This is my night to go on a fantastic journey to imaginative places that enable escape from reality. I get to dream of elaborate costumes, sets and interesting characters.

Alas, it's Memorial weekend... and the Doctor is not in.

Music memories

Ok.. I've seen several people posting music on their blogs lately. I had a huge flashback to a group that always made me laugh.. no matter what mood I was in at the time. Here they are for your listening pleasure. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. (Don't blame me for their nerdiness... they were just born that way)

"Nellie the Elephant"



Another one of my favorites.
"I've Got Asthma"




They also have the fastest versions of "Wipeout" and "Blue Suede Shoes" I've ever heard.

They're silly and that's why I like 'em.

My PB & J on Hot Dog Bun Sandwich

What you see before you is my lunch... A Peanut Butter and Jelly on a hot dog bun sandwich. Why Hot Dog buns you ask? Because the Hamburger buns smelled funny.

I've had to resort to hot dog and hamburger buns because we're out of bread. Why are we out of bread? Because we're out of money. Kinda works like that sometimes.

Here's my question for today... why is the world made up where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? Take late fees for one. If I don't have any $ and I can't pay a bill when the payee wants the money - what do they do? They tack on a "late fee". What they should call it is an "I'm sorry I'm a looser" fee. Yes, let's ask those who can't pay the bill in the first place to pay us MORE money.

If I had money in the bank I could:
- Pay for our storage unit for an entire year and get 1 month FREE
- Pay for our car insurance for an entire year and get not only 1 month free but also not have to pay the installment fees (fees they charge for the inconvience of having to bill every month)
- Have better credit scores and be able to buy things with VERY LOW interest rates
- Buy a newer vehicle that doesn't require so much $ for maintance / repairs. Things just don't break down as quickly on cars less than 10 years old.
- Afford health insurance and end up paying less for medical intervention. (Insurance companies get a discount on every bill... why can't those paying cash get the same discount?)
- Buy extra grocery items because they're on sale now - saving money later when the prices are higher and we don't have to purchase them because we already have enough.
- Pay off our mortgage / credit cards etc.. and not have to pay anything towards interest.

There are TONS of ways for those with the money (who can afford to pay extra) can save even more money. For every way the rich can save money there are a dozen ways to "penalize" the poor for not having enough.

So... the RICH will continue to get RICHER.. while the POOR will continue to get POORER.

.... One other thing on my mind at the moment... if you happen to be one of those lucky people who have more than your needs require... and you know others who are not so blessed.... don't "look down" on them. Don't assume that just because someone is poor that they are unintelligent or incompetant. I tell ya, it takes a genious these days to be poor and survive. Our family survives (sort of) on less money then most families without children. I have figured out how to solve problems without "buying the solution" over and over again.

In literally 2 minutes we will have another "you're a looser" fee tacked onto our mortgage... here I sit and watch the seconds tick by.... saying tsk tsk and shaking their head in disgrace........ One minute to go.......

Job Opening . . .

Job Title: Keeper of the Alarm

Job Description: Person to be responsible for waking individuals when necessary.

- No formal education necessary

- Must possess a working alarm device capable of waking even the soundest sleeper.

- Must be flexable on the times the device will alarm

- Must be cheerful when waking those necessary (or at least not violent and angry)

- Must be able to wake only those necessary while leaving others in peaceful slumber

- Must make sure alarm device is far enough away as to not be able to silence device too many times allowing the Keeper of the Alarm to sleep past desired wake time

- Person must be willing to be yelled at, moaned at, have objects thrown at them without becoming angry

- Person must be willing to take blame for others being late for their morning appointments

- Person must be persistant when waking the individual at the scheduled wake time

- Even after the subject of the waking is "awake" the Keeper of the Alarm must return to ensure that the wakee is truely awake. This process will continue until subject is sufficently awake as to take charge of their own actions

- Days of work will be Monday - Friday during the school year with occasional Saturday and Sunday (this year). Next year as the church schedule changes waking of individuals within the house is manditory. Saturday wakings depend upon male head of household's work demands.

- It is HIGHLY recommended that Alarm Keeper provide warm, yummy wake up treats to subjects of waking. This action will elicit smiles and happy individuals

- No experience necessary but it is helpful

- Position is open for immediate filling

- Position length is until death

Pay: There is no compensation for this position

If you are interested in this position (I beg you) to please apply immediately to 555-6500.

Kids are amazing

I am amazed at how flexable kids can be... well... my kids. Yesterday I freaked out on behalf of my kids. I thought..... I worried..... I freaked..... then I resolved that my decision was the best for everyone..... I just needed to know that they were cool with it.

Yesterday I had a meeting with my son's teacher. Turns out his special needs class will be changing schools next year. The school he will be attending meets at the exact same time as my twin's school just a few miles away. It didn't hit me until our progress meeting was nearly over that there would be a timing conflict. See.... I have a beef with busses. Well... not the busses themselves.

I have a beef with the drivers. Every year I hear on the news that some bus load of kids were taken for a "ride". Or... that some child was abused by the bus driver. Typically the kids "picked on" are the special needs kids. I refuse to put my son in that type of "danger" even if the odds are soooo slight.

The bus that my son would have been on if I chose to have him bussed to school has some issues. The driver likes to feed the kids cheetoes in the morning. You might ask "what's so wrong with cheetoes?" 1st and mainly: I did NOT give this woman permission to give my son anything to eat. 2nd: Cheetoes have monosodium glutimate in them - MAJOR stimulus that we NEVER feed our kids. 3rd: My son had a severe problem digesting dairy protein only a few years ago (his intestine would bleed). How is this woman supposed to know that what SHE chooses to feed the kids won't land the child in the hospital. The only reason I found this out is because I drive my son to school and talk with his teacher. The teacher and the aids have a real beef with this one driver as well as a couple of other drivers. Some of these kids are so fragile. The drivers (and their bus aids) only have the kids for a very short time - not enough to really get to know these kids (they often times have mod to severe speech problems).......

Ok... I need to stop there. I will never finish this post if I don't.

Anyway..... Since I won't let my son take the bus to school I have to drive him. I won't let my twins walk to / from school because there is a registererd child sex offender that lives on the path between our house and the school. (Have you figured out that I worry a lot). So here we are at the cross road where I need to drive both sets of kids to their individual schools at the exact same time. Last time I checked I don't have a Tardis so the conclusion I came up with is to move my twins to my son's new school. It is a regular elementary school with the spec. needs program added on.

Yesterday I mentioned this issue to the twins and I expected friction... What did I get instead? "Sure mom". We drove over to the school so they could see it and the playground. They got so excited. I'm thinking about all the reasons why I would freak out and all they see is a new school with a pretty playground.

I LOVE MY KIDS!!!!

family - growing older

I love having such supportive families on both my side and my husband's side. This past weekend our twins were baptized. What an awesome event. I know it is a huge sacrifice for people to travel to where we are since we don't live near either of our parents.

I never thought I would be a mom. I always wanted to be one... just never was able to imagine it. After all our problems having kids in the beginning I was starting to think it would just be us in life. Now here we are with kids old enough to be baptized. Our son is a Cub Scout!!! I always thought it was the experienced moms... the ones with their "act together" who had kids this age. Here I am with kids this age and I still feel as inept as I did when I was first married. Do we ever feel like we know what we're doing? Do we spend the rest of our lives guessing?

In truth.... mentally I still feel as goofy as I did when I was in my early 20's. Smart enough to not make the super dumb mistakes that teenagers make but not smart enough to feel comfortable just surfing through life. I seem to like the stage I just came out of better than the one I'm hacking through at the time. I guess it's easier to feel things were easier when you're not aware of all the icky details.

To blog or not to blog....

I've been batting around the idea of starting up one of these things.

The reason I didn't want to do this is because I tend to be really open and say things while forgetting my audience. I may be able to say something to one person without care, knowing that they don't "know" the person I am referring to. If I were to just go on with whatever is on my mind (especially if it happens to be something that is irking me at the time) I run the chance of the person reading it and getting equally irked back at me.

I decided to go ahead and start one of these up and just see what happens. I won't be able to use this as a therapy session and get out all my anguish but I am hoping a place like this may help.

I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom) and I have a LOT of interactions with my kids. Whenever I get around adults I tent to run amock talking their ear off (my mom and Annette LOL) then I feel guilty for doing so. I'm hoping that this allows me to chill out and be more human rather than a vocally starved lunatic around adults.

I have several boards that I am a regular member of. Most of them don't know my name IRL (in real life) and most also do not know where I live. I like it that way. If you know me.... PLEASE DO NOT USE ANY PERSONAL NAMES OR LOCATIONS IN YOUR COMMENTS FOR SAFETY REASONS. I know of one person who got into some serious trouble by someone being able to put 2+2 together and figuring out who she was and where she lived etc.

For those of you reading this that don't know me. Look out! LOL! Ok.... Growing up I was a pretty dang good kid. I am youngest in my family. I didn't know it at the time but I have suffered my entire life from anxiety / panic attacks. It's a lovely thing to experience... I think everyone should try it. Just kidding. I have always felt that there are 2 sides to me. 1st is the logical side, safe, does what society wants me to do, practical, boring.... 2nd is the side that is bursting at the seams to get out. This is the side that gets stomped on by the anxiety.

I allowed the second side to run life for a while when I signed up for the film program at the University I attended. I had never felt more free in my entire life. I was finally doing the thing that I had dreamt of doing since I was young. I wanted to be a DP (Director of Photography). So what's the first job I had on a student film shoot?. . . . Set decoration. I helped set up a college classroom to appear to be a 5th grade elementary classroom. I was elated. I didn't care what I was doing or who I was doing it with. I just wanted to be THERE. At the time I was unaware that I had also just met my future husband. He was an Art Director (can be currently found on IMDB). He was only helping with set decoration along with me (and another newbie) since someone else had been "hired" to be the art director on this shoot. (Hired is in "" because no one gets paid on student film shoots).

I'm skipping over a BUNCH of life.......

Now I sit here and REALLY miss working on film shoots. I miss the odd characters that one meets while on a film shoot. Every single person there, from the director to the actors to the lowly PA's are all strong and strange personalities. If not... then they typically don't make it in the business. I LOVE all the crazyness. It also helped to be a 6'1" girl in a business typically dominated by men. I was tall enough to be taken seriously I guess. This is also where I learned (for the first time) how to use my girliness to get what I want. My boyfriend (now husband) would send me in to talk to someone to get something that HE needed. I don't recall having a problem acquireing anything and all I had to do was be nice and smile a lot. Flirting never hurt.

So.... I'm now a SAHM (as I said). I LOOOOVVVVVEEEEE my kids. They're amazing. For what the twins have been through in the first several years of their lives I am sooo impressed that they are who they are today. For those of you who don't know... they were born about 3 months premature. My daughter has had lung problems her whole life. Frequent hospitalizations for pneumonia. My son has had chronic ear infections. The twins are now 8 years old and down one set of tonsils (my son). The next one down is 5 (will be 6 later this year). He has a rare genetic disorder (first one the genetics counselor / doctor had ever seen in this state). He's going to a special ed school and starting to do much better. One of the few goals I had for him this year (kindergarden) was for him to be able to write his own first name. We're not there yet but sure trying. Our last one is 1 (nearly 2). She is our first one to be born "normal". No problems, only 3 weeks early which is considered to be full term. It blows me away to watch her play and listen to her talk. I didn't know that kids can be this smart at her age. She can easily pull a 5 word sentence out of her hat without any coaching. My 5 year old can't do that. Typically he likes his 3 word sentences.

Ok... there's a LOT more but I will stop there for now. I'm still trying to decide how to take this blog. To stay all nicey nicey or get real. I think I'll have to sugar coat any "issues" I may have. I need all the friends I can get in this life. I don't need to make unnecessary enemies just because I had a passing thought while blogging.