I haven't updated any posts here because I don't like posting negative thoughts.... Well... that's all I have still to post about.
My husband has something wrong with his general health. We don't know what it is. It has caused him a LOT of problems since he was about 7 years old. When everything is working right he looks and acts like a "regular person". Nothing out of the ordinary. When he's having an "episode" all hell breaks loose. His body language is the first thing I notice. He gets a snarl, body tenses up, clenches fists, scowls, his eyes roll back and he has nystagmus (his eyes flip in a "W" as well as side to side), he can't focus on anything, gets cranky easy, can't drive, can't walk without running into something part of the time (runs into a lot of walls and doorways).
We and his parents have spent thousands on him over the years trying to get some doc to figure him out. I HATE DOCTORS!!!!! Time after time we go in (spending $150 -$200) for 10 minutes of THEIR time (after about an hour wait in their waiting room) and all they do is interrupt and say "you know a lot more about this than I do" "sorry I can't help you" "do you want some anti-depressants?" Don't you think THEY should PAY US??? If we're giving them new knowledge why are WE paying THEM?
We don't have health insurance (had to drop it years ago). Can't afford it. Because my husband's health is so crappy he works about part time. Lately his health has been sooooo bad that he's not working even that much. He has work to do (thank goodness) but he can't focus enough to get it done. I don't know enough about Final Cut or Adobe After Effects to do the projects for him - otherwise I would. Perhaps he needs to seriously teach me so I can do the projects for him when he gets like this. The company he mainly works for (freelance) is MONTHS behind in paying. He has to threaten them by holding footage hostage in order to get paid. Didn't use to be this way. We have to take being treated this way since no one else wants to hire hubby. He's SUPER talented (when he's sane) but he CAN'T make most deadlines. He has a great portfolio.
He can't take care of the kids when he's not feeling well. He can barely take care of himself. He has been getting noticeably WORSE recently. Only able to function a handful of days in a month's time. We think he is on to the solution to some of his health problems but we need more $ to do more testing. It's a double edged sword. We can't test without $ but we can't get $ because he's too sick to work.
In the meantime... utilities keep getting shut off. When they get turned back on we get hit with a turn back on fee. Late fees on our mortgage... as if being broke isn't hard enough as it is... they want more money where there is NONE. Believe me... I WOULD PAY ONTIME IF I HAD THE $$.
I sent a letter in to Dr. Oz on Oprah's website BEGGING Dr. Oz for help. I don't know if anything will come of it. My hubby is willing to share his illness with the nation if it means he gets to see a doc for free and get diagnosed finally. (If you know him you know what a HUGE deal that is - hubby has always kept his health problems as private as possible)
We're as broke as we can get... we're down to 2 diapers in the house and we have 3 kids still in diapers. Our baby has 1 diaper... and Tinkerbell and Power Ranger have to flip a coin on who gets the other one. I want to scream... cry.... give up.
Whenever we do get money it's GONE! We owe soo many people soo much $ and have soo many late fees on top of it we might get to look at the $ for a second before it gets sucked away.
I'm tired of being a liability.....
I started up a new clothing and stuff store on Zazzle last night... I'll get the link to it up soon. I'm going to make this blog public (I never wanted to do that) in hopes that my Zazzle site will get some attention (through advertising it here). I need a job that I can do from home. Can't babysit since I would not feel comfortable having someone else's child here when hubby is not doing well. (he gets cranky when over stimulated - noise etc.) I don't feel comfortable having him here alone for very long when he's having an episode. I'm not sure what he would do if left alone all the time. The Zazzle site would NOT bring in very much unless it suddenly became super popular (not likely) and even then... it would take forever to gain that kind of popularity. I'm just hoping for some sort of additional income.. somewhere.
We don't want handouts.. we want to work and earn what we bring in... desperately need hubby to get his health under control. Wish we could find the right project to fit hubby's ability to work and match his skills.
If anyone needed a miracle... we do ..... NOW!!! Thankfully Prayers are FREE!
UPDATE: Hubby was able to get one client to cough up a bit of $ from some work hubby completed about 4 or 5 years ago. Enough to buy those very needed diapers. YaY! Whew!!! This client is so stingy it's like getting blood from a rock.
