I need to be more positive. There are days where I find it easier to cut myself down rather than find the better side of things. I need to keep days like this in check.
A year ago my husband finally introduced me to an actor (that he works with for a week every year) that I had a crush on since I was a young teenager. He was just being nice and asking me how my husband was able to snag me. My response to him was rather a rather negative view of myself. (I won't repeat it here)
That quick moment in my life has stuck with me pretty severe since then. It didn't dawn on me until a few days later that I was so negative. No one likes to be around negative people. Why was I putting my worst foot forward at a time I wanted to be one of my best?
Ok... so I've put on quite a few pounds with each pregnancy.... Ok... so I have a few grey hairs and I can't eat whatever I want without any consequences anymore. So what!?!?
I've lost over 40 pounds in 6 out of the past 7 months. I've hit a plateau and I need to get back into exercise mode. I am excited that I can wear regular jeans again and not sweat pants all the time. I have 5 amazing kids that I really enjoy watching them grow and change.
I don't know what I need but something needs to change. I NEED to be more positive... more happy... more content. This is my goal for 2010.
Confession time: I have a very hard time being around people who have more money than we do. The jealousy monster lurks just below the surface waiting for the chance to be heard. We have spent most of the past 15 years struggling just to keep our utilities on. When I hear that some family/friend went somewhere on a trip - rather than being happy for them and wanting to hear the details of their vacation my mind automatically heads towards... "must be nice to go on a trip.... must be nice to not have to worry how you're going to keep your mortgage paid or utilities on". I have found the only way I can "deal" with this bad trait is to just stay away from anyone who has more $ then we do. Needless to say... I don't get out much. This is another area where I could use some improvement.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Twas the night before Christmas...
Christmas Eve Checklist:
1. 3 year old screaming (check)
2. 9 year olds excited and asking to stay up to meet Santa (check)
3. 7 year old super excited about Santa one min then cranky the next (check)
4. Baby sleeping peacefully (check)
5. A full day of Christmas programming on TV (check)
6. Parents at the end of their ropes (check)
7. Broken water pipe shut off at old house (check)
8. Kitchen a disaster (check)
9. Baths done (check)
10. 3 year old tickled to alter personality to laughter (check)
11. Presents wraped (mostly... but still not done)
12. Stockings hung ( )
13. Sanity found ( )
14. Christmas cookies made to hand out to friends ( )
15. New Christmas stockings made ( )
16. Rest and relax ( )
1. 3 year old screaming (check)
2. 9 year olds excited and asking to stay up to meet Santa (check)
3. 7 year old super excited about Santa one min then cranky the next (check)
4. Baby sleeping peacefully (check)
5. A full day of Christmas programming on TV (check)
6. Parents at the end of their ropes (check)
7. Broken water pipe shut off at old house (check)
8. Kitchen a disaster (check)
9. Baths done (check)
10. 3 year old tickled to alter personality to laughter (check)
11. Presents wraped (mostly... but still not done)
12. Stockings hung ( )
13. Sanity found ( )
14. Christmas cookies made to hand out to friends ( )
15. New Christmas stockings made ( )
16. Rest and relax ( )
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Early Memories
Last week, while sitting around the table for dinner we started to share stories of our earliest memories. I have 2 very early ones. What I find interesting is that those memories are more surrounded by how I felt rather than so much of what happened.
One of my earlier memories was of when I was still in diapers. I remember running down the hallway, trying to catch up with my brother when I noticed that my bum was very warm and wet. I was VERY uncomfortable and wanted to be clean and dry. This was before modern throw-away diapers. These were the classic cloth diapers with the large safety pins holding it on with the vinyl dipaer cover on top. I remember always making noise when I walked and I did not like that either.
The second memory is (according to my mom I was about 2 years old). I followed my brothers outside in the backyard to go play. I ran to the far end of the yard where we had some grapefruit trees. I remember that was my favorite place to be. It was cool and smelled sooo good. They had yellow metal Tonka trucks that they used to dig up the dirt. I couldn't figure out how to make them do what my brothers could make them do. I LOVED to play with the dirt that they dug up. I would slide my feet into a hole they made and bury my feet in the cold dirt.
Both of these experiences happened in California where I lived for the first 3 years of my life. I have a few other memories but they are so small and vague that there's not much left of those.
I am amazed at what my brain choses to remember and what it considers trivial.
We asked the twins what they could remember. Jabberbox asked us what he could remember. LOL... I forgot to purchase the mindreading cap the last time I visited the parenting store.
Dragon Girl had a very clear memory. She was in her crib laying on her right side. She said she was scared and crying and she felt a warm gentle hand rubbing her back. This calmed her down and helped her fall aslseep. She doesn't remember either of us being there. My husband mentioned that he would often times lay on the floor of their room and stick his hand through the bars on the crib and rub some part of their body (arm, leg, head, back etc...) to help calm down. I also remember sitting on the floor for hours rubbing a baby's back trying to calm them without them seeing me. If they could see our faces they would stand up and want to be picked up. If we hid they would just roll over and go to sleep.
One of my earlier memories was of when I was still in diapers. I remember running down the hallway, trying to catch up with my brother when I noticed that my bum was very warm and wet. I was VERY uncomfortable and wanted to be clean and dry. This was before modern throw-away diapers. These were the classic cloth diapers with the large safety pins holding it on with the vinyl dipaer cover on top. I remember always making noise when I walked and I did not like that either.
The second memory is (according to my mom I was about 2 years old). I followed my brothers outside in the backyard to go play. I ran to the far end of the yard where we had some grapefruit trees. I remember that was my favorite place to be. It was cool and smelled sooo good. They had yellow metal Tonka trucks that they used to dig up the dirt. I couldn't figure out how to make them do what my brothers could make them do. I LOVED to play with the dirt that they dug up. I would slide my feet into a hole they made and bury my feet in the cold dirt.
Both of these experiences happened in California where I lived for the first 3 years of my life. I have a few other memories but they are so small and vague that there's not much left of those.
I am amazed at what my brain choses to remember and what it considers trivial.
We asked the twins what they could remember. Jabberbox asked us what he could remember. LOL... I forgot to purchase the mindreading cap the last time I visited the parenting store.
Dragon Girl had a very clear memory. She was in her crib laying on her right side. She said she was scared and crying and she felt a warm gentle hand rubbing her back. This calmed her down and helped her fall aslseep. She doesn't remember either of us being there. My husband mentioned that he would often times lay on the floor of their room and stick his hand through the bars on the crib and rub some part of their body (arm, leg, head, back etc...) to help calm down. I also remember sitting on the floor for hours rubbing a baby's back trying to calm them without them seeing me. If they could see our faces they would stand up and want to be picked up. If we hid they would just roll over and go to sleep.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
cute kitten
Ok... I totally stole this from my friend's facebook post. I had to .... it's sooo dang cute!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
My Mom
Having my mom around is very therapeutic. When I saw her this summer it was under some pretty stressful circumstances. (Dad's illness and passing).
I can feel a piece of my heart relax and I swear it grows when she's around.
Last night I gave my mom a perm and a haircut. I have been privlidged to do this since I was a teenager. I REALLY enjoy having my mom "captive" - all to myself for several hours. It also makes me feel really good to know that mom will have a bit of spring in her step and a quick smile on her face because she feels better about how she looks.
One thing my husband mentioned was that I get really giggly when my mom is around. We do tend to stay up late and it's easy to get giggly around mom.
Have I mentioned how much I love my mom?
I can feel a piece of my heart relax and I swear it grows when she's around.
Last night I gave my mom a perm and a haircut. I have been privlidged to do this since I was a teenager. I REALLY enjoy having my mom "captive" - all to myself for several hours. It also makes me feel really good to know that mom will have a bit of spring in her step and a quick smile on her face because she feels better about how she looks.
One thing my husband mentioned was that I get really giggly when my mom is around. We do tend to stay up late and it's easy to get giggly around mom.
Have I mentioned how much I love my mom?
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Bamboozled
Ok... tonight I got bamboozled in a good way. I was under the assumption that I was heading out with a friend Annette and another friend for ice-cream to celebrate our recent birthdays.....
I walk in to our friend's house and much to my surprise they say surprise to me. I'm so dang literal that I'm still concerned about our friend's supposed hurt leg it takes my brain more than a few beats to understand that what I walked into was a surprise birthday party for me.
The last time I had a birthday party was the first and only time I had a birthday party when I turned 12. This time was MUCH better and a lot more fun. Gooey Yummy chocolate cake.... card games, stories and wonderful friends.... my husband home from his trip... what more could a girl want?
Thank You Annette. You're super sneaky. You have the ultimate "poker face" because I TOTALLY had NO CLUE!!!
I walk in to our friend's house and much to my surprise they say surprise to me. I'm so dang literal that I'm still concerned about our friend's supposed hurt leg it takes my brain more than a few beats to understand that what I walked into was a surprise birthday party for me.
The last time I had a birthday party was the first and only time I had a birthday party when I turned 12. This time was MUCH better and a lot more fun. Gooey Yummy chocolate cake.... card games, stories and wonderful friends.... my husband home from his trip... what more could a girl want?
Thank You Annette. You're super sneaky. You have the ultimate "poker face" because I TOTALLY had NO CLUE!!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Facebook dilemma
I recently joined the ranks of Facebook. I never thought I would. I thought I would never have a facebook, myspace or twitter account. I thought they were pointless.... then again... I thought online blogging was pointless. Here I am still nearly 2 years later. I caved and joined facebook simply so I could follow the changes in family size some friends of ours were going through.
Our friends were blessed with the ability to adopt their first child. A beautiful little boy. I was frustrated at the slow rate at which my husband followed their story so I decided to take action... I would join Facebook so I could follow them at my pace (a bit more obsessive than my husband's casual one).
At first the only friends on my list were these friends and my husband. Then I noticed several people asking to be added as my friend (various family members). I thought... wow.... this facebook thing can be pretty cool. I can keep tabs on friends and family without having to necessarily contact them directly. (by reading their occasional posts about themselves on their walls)
I don't have nearly the volume of friends that most people on there seem to have. I'm fine with that. Actually I'm pretty amazed that I have as many as I do. I've felt pretty secluded the past 10 years. (the twins are 9 1/2 years old now)
Here's some of my delimma.... as I see familiar people on facebook I think to myself... "do I send them a friend request?" "Do they remember me?" "Do they care about me enough to say yes?" "Do I care about them that much anymore to want them on my friend list?" The questions go on and on..
I have noticed something interesting though. Everyone I have in my friend list is someone I have met since meeting my husband. With an exception of 1 former roommate and a few of my family members that is.
I have often wondered what people from my teen years are doing now. Friends from church, school.. friends I use to hang out with on weekends... friends who have moved far away..... friends who stayed where I last saw them.... There are several on facebook. I've looked them up. They're there.
The BIG delimma... Do I send them a friend invite or just keep going forward with my life not looking back?
I don't know why there is such a huge division between then and now. Why is it such a big deal? I think - perhaps - it has something to do with WHO I was then and WHO I am now.
I've always dealt with anxiety. I had NO CLUE I had an anxiety/panic attack disorder until a few years into my marriage. Now that I know what it is I'm dealing with I can deal with anxiety situations better. I feel that I like myself better now. I am more in control (to some extent). I still freak out from time to time. At least now I know why and that I'm allowed to feel freaked out and that it will calm down shortly.
The people from my past.... from Arizona basically... knew me before I understood what was giving me so much trouble. I acted strange at times and no one knew why (not even me). I never went to church dances.. never dated.. WANTED to but never did. Don't know how much of not ever being asked out was due to my anxiety and how much had to do with my height. I hit 6' in high school. (FYI I'm 6'1" now). I had one guy (taller than me by a couple of inches) once tell me I was intimidating. I personally don't get that one. My anxiety made me so shy and stand-offish that I don't see how anyone could be intimidated by me.
So... the delimma..... to invite my PAST into my present? I don't know what to do.
Our friends were blessed with the ability to adopt their first child. A beautiful little boy. I was frustrated at the slow rate at which my husband followed their story so I decided to take action... I would join Facebook so I could follow them at my pace (a bit more obsessive than my husband's casual one).
At first the only friends on my list were these friends and my husband. Then I noticed several people asking to be added as my friend (various family members). I thought... wow.... this facebook thing can be pretty cool. I can keep tabs on friends and family without having to necessarily contact them directly. (by reading their occasional posts about themselves on their walls)
I don't have nearly the volume of friends that most people on there seem to have. I'm fine with that. Actually I'm pretty amazed that I have as many as I do. I've felt pretty secluded the past 10 years. (the twins are 9 1/2 years old now)
Here's some of my delimma.... as I see familiar people on facebook I think to myself... "do I send them a friend request?" "Do they remember me?" "Do they care about me enough to say yes?" "Do I care about them that much anymore to want them on my friend list?" The questions go on and on..
I have noticed something interesting though. Everyone I have in my friend list is someone I have met since meeting my husband. With an exception of 1 former roommate and a few of my family members that is.
I have often wondered what people from my teen years are doing now. Friends from church, school.. friends I use to hang out with on weekends... friends who have moved far away..... friends who stayed where I last saw them.... There are several on facebook. I've looked them up. They're there.
The BIG delimma... Do I send them a friend invite or just keep going forward with my life not looking back?
I don't know why there is such a huge division between then and now. Why is it such a big deal? I think - perhaps - it has something to do with WHO I was then and WHO I am now.
I've always dealt with anxiety. I had NO CLUE I had an anxiety/panic attack disorder until a few years into my marriage. Now that I know what it is I'm dealing with I can deal with anxiety situations better. I feel that I like myself better now. I am more in control (to some extent). I still freak out from time to time. At least now I know why and that I'm allowed to feel freaked out and that it will calm down shortly.
The people from my past.... from Arizona basically... knew me before I understood what was giving me so much trouble. I acted strange at times and no one knew why (not even me). I never went to church dances.. never dated.. WANTED to but never did. Don't know how much of not ever being asked out was due to my anxiety and how much had to do with my height. I hit 6' in high school. (FYI I'm 6'1" now). I had one guy (taller than me by a couple of inches) once tell me I was intimidating. I personally don't get that one. My anxiety made me so shy and stand-offish that I don't see how anyone could be intimidated by me.
So... the delimma..... to invite my PAST into my present? I don't know what to do.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
WOOT!
If you're looking for some gadget for Christmas but don't want to spend full retail price.. head over to woot.com and see what their deal of the day is. They sell ONE item a day. LOTS of it but only ONE item per day. Several items are refurbished so steer clear if that is not your cup-o-T others are brand new. Tuesdays are 2for days... you get 2 for the price of 1.
Every so often they have a woot-off. This is when they sell off all the leftovers. They put an item up for sale and it stays up for sale until they sell all they have on hand. Then they put the next item up for sale until it's gone. They can get stuck on one item for hours or blow through an item in just a minute.
If you're lucky you can catch their brown mystery bag. You spend an insainly small amount and get "who knows what" inside. You might be buying some tiny headphones and a backscratcher or a 49" LCD TV for about the price of shipping only. It has happened (not to me though).
There are 4 other woot sites. Wine.woot! - yes, they sell wine. Kids.woot! - they sell an item related to children/babies. Shirt.woot! - they have one style of t-shirt on sale for the day. And, lastly they have sellout.woot! - this site typically sells items similar to regular woot! but still another item.
Only thing we've bought from them was a little short range FM transmitter. This way my hubby can play music from his computer and have all the radio's around the house pick it up. This is great for Sunday's when we want calm music streaming everywhere. It also works well for when we want fun music everywhere.
Every so often they have a woot-off. This is when they sell off all the leftovers. They put an item up for sale and it stays up for sale until they sell all they have on hand. Then they put the next item up for sale until it's gone. They can get stuck on one item for hours or blow through an item in just a minute.
If you're lucky you can catch their brown mystery bag. You spend an insainly small amount and get "who knows what" inside. You might be buying some tiny headphones and a backscratcher or a 49" LCD TV for about the price of shipping only. It has happened (not to me though).
There are 4 other woot sites. Wine.woot! - yes, they sell wine. Kids.woot! - they sell an item related to children/babies. Shirt.woot! - they have one style of t-shirt on sale for the day. And, lastly they have sellout.woot! - this site typically sells items similar to regular woot! but still another item.
Only thing we've bought from them was a little short range FM transmitter. This way my hubby can play music from his computer and have all the radio's around the house pick it up. This is great for Sunday's when we want calm music streaming everywhere. It also works well for when we want fun music everywhere.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Awesome News
I just met this morning with the special needs coordinator at my kid's school. Recently Dragon Girl was retested to see where she is in her abilities. WHAT A SHOCKER!!! Yes, there are some areas where she is a tiny bit behind. They score by age level. She was tested at 9 years 7 months old. A small handful of the items they tested she was a tad behind by as much as 6 months delayed. No biggie. MOST of the items tested she scored a full year ahead (as a 10 1/2 year old). There were several in the 11 1/2 year old range and one way out at a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL!!! Just shy of a 17 year old!!!
When she was in 1st grade her teacher kept PUSHING me to put her on meds to MAKE her pay attention better. Basically the teacher didn't want to deal with anyone slightly "difficult". I am SOOOO glad we just let Dragon Girl have TIME. When she got her special learning time I was told she didn't fit in there either. Most of those kids were really behind. Her only area she needed help in was fluency (the speed at which she does things - read, write etc...). She was VERY slow. Dragon Girl has sped up a LOT since she first started school.
I also believe that her not having to be hospitalized with pneumonia in over 2 years has helped a TON. Her ped. always told me that each time she was hospitalized she would fall behind in her brain development a bit. Most likely from the oxygen deprivation. She's been fighting to get caught up from several bouts of pneumonia as well as being born so premature.
I'm just soooo EXCITED about this news! Who knows.... maybe in the near future she'll get pulled out not because she needs help but because she's getting bored and needs a challenge..... It could happen.
When she was in 1st grade her teacher kept PUSHING me to put her on meds to MAKE her pay attention better. Basically the teacher didn't want to deal with anyone slightly "difficult". I am SOOOO glad we just let Dragon Girl have TIME. When she got her special learning time I was told she didn't fit in there either. Most of those kids were really behind. Her only area she needed help in was fluency (the speed at which she does things - read, write etc...). She was VERY slow. Dragon Girl has sped up a LOT since she first started school.
I also believe that her not having to be hospitalized with pneumonia in over 2 years has helped a TON. Her ped. always told me that each time she was hospitalized she would fall behind in her brain development a bit. Most likely from the oxygen deprivation. She's been fighting to get caught up from several bouts of pneumonia as well as being born so premature.
I'm just soooo EXCITED about this news! Who knows.... maybe in the near future she'll get pulled out not because she needs help but because she's getting bored and needs a challenge..... It could happen.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday was interesting
I worked all night on Jabber Box's costume so he could wear it to school. He walked into the room where I was working and stated that he had just thrown up in the bathroom... then he proceeded to demonstrate the process while standing in the doorway. Oh Joy!!!
Dragon Girl has progressively gotten better. YAY!!!!
Now I'm off to get something sewn for her. There is NO way I can get done what hubby has designed for me to make for her. Perhaps if I had 2 or 3 weeks with nothing else to do I could make it. She's very patient with us.
I'll post picts of the kiddies all dressed up later. Everyone seems healthy enough to go out tonight. (Keeping fingers crossed).
Dragon Girl has progressively gotten better. YAY!!!!
Now I'm off to get something sewn for her. There is NO way I can get done what hubby has designed for me to make for her. Perhaps if I had 2 or 3 weeks with nothing else to do I could make it. She's very patient with us.
I'll post picts of the kiddies all dressed up later. Everyone seems healthy enough to go out tonight. (Keeping fingers crossed).
Friday, October 30, 2009
Just like clockwork
Here we are... almost Halloween and Dragon Girl has not let me down. Yup! She will once again miss out on Halloween due to illness. Last year she was sick and stayed home from almost everything. The year before last she was in the hospital. She got to trick-or-treat from a wheelchair in a special enviroment they made just for the pediatric wing.
Currently I'm on the fence about taking her to the doc about her lungs. Her oxygen sats are in the low 90's (90-93) NOT GOOD. From past experience I know that she can be home on anything in the 90's as long as she responds to her inhalers. So far so good but she can change in the blink of an eye. When she gets bad she goes fast.
I'll update if anything changes.
Currently I'm on the fence about taking her to the doc about her lungs. Her oxygen sats are in the low 90's (90-93) NOT GOOD. From past experience I know that she can be home on anything in the 90's as long as she responds to her inhalers. So far so good but she can change in the blink of an eye. When she gets bad she goes fast.
I'll update if anything changes.
Monday, October 26, 2009
update 10/26
I recently joined the HUGE world of Facebook. I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Trying to find family and friends. I'm soooo confused over there.
I seriously feel like the last person on earth to join facebook. When I look at people's friend list and there's over 100 names on it I feel like such a dweeb. I've actually hit double digits - most of them my husband's family members.
If anyone reading this knows me in real life and has a facebook account please feel free to add me if you want.
I'm also working hard on a new line of shirts on my zazzle site. If everything works out well you should be able to access my website by going to:
www.mythsconceptions.com
We just bought the domain so it may take a day to populate.
I'll post a big "check it out" when I get the shirts done. Hubby is helping me out with them and we're cracking each other up. They are NOT up yet so it won't do you any good to go looking for them... they're all stored on my hard drive at the moment.
Once again it's in the middle of the morning before I'm heading off to bed. It's about 5:30am. If you read this and see me at school monday morning dropping off my kids see if I'm really awake. I'm debating not going to bed and taking a big nap after I get home. We'll see.....
I seriously feel like the last person on earth to join facebook. When I look at people's friend list and there's over 100 names on it I feel like such a dweeb. I've actually hit double digits - most of them my husband's family members.
If anyone reading this knows me in real life and has a facebook account please feel free to add me if you want.
I'm also working hard on a new line of shirts on my zazzle site. If everything works out well you should be able to access my website by going to:
www.mythsconceptions.com
We just bought the domain so it may take a day to populate.
I'll post a big "check it out" when I get the shirts done. Hubby is helping me out with them and we're cracking each other up. They are NOT up yet so it won't do you any good to go looking for them... they're all stored on my hard drive at the moment.
Once again it's in the middle of the morning before I'm heading off to bed. It's about 5:30am. If you read this and see me at school monday morning dropping off my kids see if I'm really awake. I'm debating not going to bed and taking a big nap after I get home. We'll see.....
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Fun Videos
This post is just for fun. Some Halloween themes flowing through these videos. I hope you enjoy!
You will have to click on this one... I couldn't get the embed to work.
http://music.aol.com/video/witch-doctor/alvin-and-the-chipmunks/2045440
Ok... this is a bit of a stretch but there are monsters in the video...
That's it for now... I might go searching for more later...
You will have to click on this one... I couldn't get the embed to work.
http://music.aol.com/video/witch-doctor/alvin-and-the-chipmunks/2045440
Ok... this is a bit of a stretch but there are monsters in the video...
That's it for now... I might go searching for more later...
Friday, October 23, 2009
life's ups and downs
Yesterday my husband scared me more than I have been in a long time. He has something wrong with his health. Doc's still don't know what. Probably never will... but we'll keep pumping cash into their pockets so they can afford their cars/houses/vacations.
Anyway... He hit what I would consider rock bottom. When he's not doing well he can't work, can't watch or help with the kids, can't totally take care of himself... I seriously thought he would just cease to exhist out of simply giving up. I've heard stories about people "dying of a broken heart"... I wonder if someone can die from feeling soooo horrible they just don't want to go through another day like that again. Thank goodness we don't drink or do drugs or I know he would be dead from an overdose.
I said some very emotional prayers (out of a lack of knowing what else to do). Shortly after he was inspired to take some Essential Amino Acid pills and for whatever reason he mostly snapped out of his funk. The spark came back in his eyes and he looked human again.
I have never seen anyone struggle so hard for so long trying to figure out what's up without any success. You should see our kitchen cabinets. 2 shelves FULL of bottles of various "experiments" from the health food store. He has been trying to see if that item is what he is lacking etc... We also have 2 grocery bags FULL in our storage room of abandoned experiment herbs/pills etc...
He also has a stack at least an inch thick (poss more) of lab tests he's had over the years. He sits and compares results from years ago to now to see if anything is consistantly off.
Sorry about my bummer posts lately. I was just talking to hubby about my blog being such a downer lately. I don't get out much (take the kids to/from school, grocery store and church is all I get to do)... My days are very similar one day to the next. I promise I will try to be more upbeat and find more positives to talk about. This is my release of stress area. I have to be the backbone of the family so much and I need a place to vent or I think I will implode. I keep telling myself that life won't be like this forever. I just have to get through another day and tomorrow may be better..... if the past shows us the future, most likely it will be the same or worse.
It's alright.. as long as I keep having hope I can keep heading in a forward direction.
It also helps to have a good book to escape with... BTW.. Annette I'm to the part where Harry, Ron and Hermione are about to sneak past Hagrid's dog Fluffy and jump down into the dark unknown under the trap door. And... Thanks for thinking of us and acquiring the pullups at a discount. Much appreciated.
Anyway... He hit what I would consider rock bottom. When he's not doing well he can't work, can't watch or help with the kids, can't totally take care of himself... I seriously thought he would just cease to exhist out of simply giving up. I've heard stories about people "dying of a broken heart"... I wonder if someone can die from feeling soooo horrible they just don't want to go through another day like that again. Thank goodness we don't drink or do drugs or I know he would be dead from an overdose.
I said some very emotional prayers (out of a lack of knowing what else to do). Shortly after he was inspired to take some Essential Amino Acid pills and for whatever reason he mostly snapped out of his funk. The spark came back in his eyes and he looked human again.
I have never seen anyone struggle so hard for so long trying to figure out what's up without any success. You should see our kitchen cabinets. 2 shelves FULL of bottles of various "experiments" from the health food store. He has been trying to see if that item is what he is lacking etc... We also have 2 grocery bags FULL in our storage room of abandoned experiment herbs/pills etc...
He also has a stack at least an inch thick (poss more) of lab tests he's had over the years. He sits and compares results from years ago to now to see if anything is consistantly off.
Sorry about my bummer posts lately. I was just talking to hubby about my blog being such a downer lately. I don't get out much (take the kids to/from school, grocery store and church is all I get to do)... My days are very similar one day to the next. I promise I will try to be more upbeat and find more positives to talk about. This is my release of stress area. I have to be the backbone of the family so much and I need a place to vent or I think I will implode. I keep telling myself that life won't be like this forever. I just have to get through another day and tomorrow may be better..... if the past shows us the future, most likely it will be the same or worse.
It's alright.. as long as I keep having hope I can keep heading in a forward direction.
It also helps to have a good book to escape with... BTW.. Annette I'm to the part where Harry, Ron and Hermione are about to sneak past Hagrid's dog Fluffy and jump down into the dark unknown under the trap door. And... Thanks for thinking of us and acquiring the pullups at a discount. Much appreciated.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Hummmmm.....
I'm beginning to think I'm never going to get on a regular schedule. A couple of days ago I announced that I was tired and going to bed - It was 9:30pm. By 10:01pm I was in bed nursing Peanut for the last time. My head hit the pillow by 10:28pm and I was out cold.....
11:45pm Peanut woke up dying for some more food. She pretty much fell asleep during the 10pm feeding and didn't get much. I felt guilty so I woke up and fed her again. She got her second wind and kept me up until 1:30am.
Lights out....
3:30am she's up again. This time I didn't feel sorry for her so I just held her and burped her (she can hold in those burps for a long time). One very large baby burp later... she starts "talking" and laughing and kicking like she's saying "Let's go mom! I'm done sleeping".
It was a LOOONNNNGGGG night for me and I felt more sleep deprived then when I stay up until 3,4 or 5am then get one small chunk of sleep that is at least 3 hours long.
Then last night....
I fell asleep with her at 8:30pm (I have been avoiding naps so I can get on a more normal schedule) and woke up around midnight. I was UP and ready to go. Didn't get to sleep again until 5:30am.
BTW... Thanks Annette for the Harry Potter book. I read the first 6 chapters the first night. I'm up to the part where Harry just got back from being chased around Hogwarts in the middle of the night from the "wizard's challenge" from Malfoy (that didn't happen). Get book 2 ready. I'll be needing it soon.
When I started writing this Peanut was kicking around my lap and having a GREAT time. She's such a stinker! Now she's looking like she's finally ready to go to bed. It's now a little after 3am.
Wish me luck!
11:45pm Peanut woke up dying for some more food. She pretty much fell asleep during the 10pm feeding and didn't get much. I felt guilty so I woke up and fed her again. She got her second wind and kept me up until 1:30am.
Lights out....
3:30am she's up again. This time I didn't feel sorry for her so I just held her and burped her (she can hold in those burps for a long time). One very large baby burp later... she starts "talking" and laughing and kicking like she's saying "Let's go mom! I'm done sleeping".
It was a LOOONNNNGGGG night for me and I felt more sleep deprived then when I stay up until 3,4 or 5am then get one small chunk of sleep that is at least 3 hours long.
Then last night....
I fell asleep with her at 8:30pm (I have been avoiding naps so I can get on a more normal schedule) and woke up around midnight. I was UP and ready to go. Didn't get to sleep again until 5:30am.
BTW... Thanks Annette for the Harry Potter book. I read the first 6 chapters the first night. I'm up to the part where Harry just got back from being chased around Hogwarts in the middle of the night from the "wizard's challenge" from Malfoy (that didn't happen). Get book 2 ready. I'll be needing it soon.
When I started writing this Peanut was kicking around my lap and having a GREAT time. She's such a stinker! Now she's looking like she's finally ready to go to bed. It's now a little after 3am.
Wish me luck!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Typical night for me
Ever wonder what other people do every day? Wish you could be a fly on the wall? Well now's your chance! This is a typical night at our house.....
(FYI - I don't list hubby here because nothing's typical with him. Some nights he's in bed -or at least asleep on a chair shortly after putting the kids to bed... some nights he isn't home - at a client's office working.... other nights he's in his home office working on the computer all night. I just chose to leave him out since I never know where he's going to be)
Our kids are supposed to go to bed around 8pm.. HA! It's typically closer to 9pm.
(Please tell me I'm not the only one slacking in bedtime strictness)
(Almost) everyone FINALLY gets to sleep so I can have some "ME time". There is one "little" problem and she can be quite random.
Yes! When the older kids go to sleep Peanut decides it's "me time" for HER and she gains her second wind.
She will try to trick me by pretending to sleep for an hour. Then she wakes up and is ready to go agin for several hours.
At some point... between 3am and 4:30am she finally runs out of steam.
I check on the rest of the kids...
Tinkerbell decides to sleep with Jabberbox for the night. (Weekends mean we get to play musical beds.... never know who will be in who's bed).
One of our kitties (Appa) keeps a nightly vigil with Power Ranger. He may appear asleep but he perks up at the slightest noise of someone entering the room. Good watch cat.
Dragon Girl has been sick all week. Fevers around 104. She's finally better and sleeping peacefully.
After a full tummy, a good several hours of "bat the toy" and checking in on everyone, Peanut falls asleep and I take her upstairs (I had to turn around on the stairs so we weren't backlit - I'm really heading UP the stairs).
I stop off to close windows around the house and pass by our "grandpa" kitty Narcissus. He's curled up on one of our sofas.
FINALLY I get to our bedroom. Lay Peanut in her bed and head for my current read...
(The book lives between the burprags and wipies)
EARLY the next morning I get to wake up to this beautiful face...
.... and do it all over again.
I LOVE being a MOM!!!!
(FYI - I don't list hubby here because nothing's typical with him. Some nights he's in bed -or at least asleep on a chair shortly after putting the kids to bed... some nights he isn't home - at a client's office working.... other nights he's in his home office working on the computer all night. I just chose to leave him out since I never know where he's going to be)
Our kids are supposed to go to bed around 8pm.. HA! It's typically closer to 9pm.
(Please tell me I'm not the only one slacking in bedtime strictness)
(Almost) everyone FINALLY gets to sleep so I can have some "ME time". There is one "little" problem and she can be quite random.
Yes! When the older kids go to sleep Peanut decides it's "me time" for HER and she gains her second wind.
She will try to trick me by pretending to sleep for an hour. Then she wakes up and is ready to go agin for several hours.
At some point... between 3am and 4:30am she finally runs out of steam.
I check on the rest of the kids...
Tinkerbell decides to sleep with Jabberbox for the night. (Weekends mean we get to play musical beds.... never know who will be in who's bed).
One of our kitties (Appa) keeps a nightly vigil with Power Ranger. He may appear asleep but he perks up at the slightest noise of someone entering the room. Good watch cat.
Dragon Girl has been sick all week. Fevers around 104. She's finally better and sleeping peacefully.
After a full tummy, a good several hours of "bat the toy" and checking in on everyone, Peanut falls asleep and I take her upstairs (I had to turn around on the stairs so we weren't backlit - I'm really heading UP the stairs).
I stop off to close windows around the house and pass by our "grandpa" kitty Narcissus. He's curled up on one of our sofas.
FINALLY I get to our bedroom. Lay Peanut in her bed and head for my current read...
(The book lives between the burprags and wipies)
EARLY the next morning I get to wake up to this beautiful face...
.... and do it all over again.
I LOVE being a MOM!!!!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Blue Ribbon
Neat video to watch. I know it's all staged but the concept is still neat.
http://www.makeadifferencemember.com/idevaffiliate.php?id=554_2
http://www.makeadifferencemember.com/idevaffiliate.php?id=554_2
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
$ and Poor Health
I haven't updated any posts here because I don't like posting negative thoughts.... Well... that's all I have still to post about.
My husband has something wrong with his general health. We don't know what it is. It has caused him a LOT of problems since he was about 7 years old. When everything is working right he looks and acts like a "regular person". Nothing out of the ordinary. When he's having an "episode" all hell breaks loose. His body language is the first thing I notice. He gets a snarl, body tenses up, clenches fists, scowls, his eyes roll back and he has nystagmus (his eyes flip in a "W" as well as side to side), he can't focus on anything, gets cranky easy, can't drive, can't walk without running into something part of the time (runs into a lot of walls and doorways).
We and his parents have spent thousands on him over the years trying to get some doc to figure him out. I HATE DOCTORS!!!!! Time after time we go in (spending $150 -$200) for 10 minutes of THEIR time (after about an hour wait in their waiting room) and all they do is interrupt and say "you know a lot more about this than I do" "sorry I can't help you" "do you want some anti-depressants?" Don't you think THEY should PAY US??? If we're giving them new knowledge why are WE paying THEM?
We don't have health insurance (had to drop it years ago). Can't afford it. Because my husband's health is so crappy he works about part time. Lately his health has been sooooo bad that he's not working even that much. He has work to do (thank goodness) but he can't focus enough to get it done. I don't know enough about Final Cut or Adobe After Effects to do the projects for him - otherwise I would. Perhaps he needs to seriously teach me so I can do the projects for him when he gets like this. The company he mainly works for (freelance) is MONTHS behind in paying. He has to threaten them by holding footage hostage in order to get paid. Didn't use to be this way. We have to take being treated this way since no one else wants to hire hubby. He's SUPER talented (when he's sane) but he CAN'T make most deadlines. He has a great portfolio.
He can't take care of the kids when he's not feeling well. He can barely take care of himself. He has been getting noticeably WORSE recently. Only able to function a handful of days in a month's time. We think he is on to the solution to some of his health problems but we need more $ to do more testing. It's a double edged sword. We can't test without $ but we can't get $ because he's too sick to work.
In the meantime... utilities keep getting shut off. When they get turned back on we get hit with a turn back on fee. Late fees on our mortgage... as if being broke isn't hard enough as it is... they want more money where there is NONE. Believe me... I WOULD PAY ONTIME IF I HAD THE $$.
I sent a letter in to Dr. Oz on Oprah's website BEGGING Dr. Oz for help. I don't know if anything will come of it. My hubby is willing to share his illness with the nation if it means he gets to see a doc for free and get diagnosed finally. (If you know him you know what a HUGE deal that is - hubby has always kept his health problems as private as possible)
We're as broke as we can get... we're down to 2 diapers in the house and we have 3 kids still in diapers. Our baby has 1 diaper... and Tinkerbell and Power Ranger have to flip a coin on who gets the other one. I want to scream... cry.... give up.
Whenever we do get money it's GONE! We owe soo many people soo much $ and have soo many late fees on top of it we might get to look at the $ for a second before it gets sucked away.
I'm tired of being a liability.....
I started up a new clothing and stuff store on Zazzle last night... I'll get the link to it up soon. I'm going to make this blog public (I never wanted to do that) in hopes that my Zazzle site will get some attention (through advertising it here). I need a job that I can do from home. Can't babysit since I would not feel comfortable having someone else's child here when hubby is not doing well. (he gets cranky when over stimulated - noise etc.) I don't feel comfortable having him here alone for very long when he's having an episode. I'm not sure what he would do if left alone all the time. The Zazzle site would NOT bring in very much unless it suddenly became super popular (not likely) and even then... it would take forever to gain that kind of popularity. I'm just hoping for some sort of additional income.. somewhere.
We don't want handouts.. we want to work and earn what we bring in... desperately need hubby to get his health under control. Wish we could find the right project to fit hubby's ability to work and match his skills.
If anyone needed a miracle... we do ..... NOW!!! Thankfully Prayers are FREE!
UPDATE: Hubby was able to get one client to cough up a bit of $ from some work hubby completed about 4 or 5 years ago. Enough to buy those very needed diapers. YaY! Whew!!! This client is so stingy it's like getting blood from a rock.
My husband has something wrong with his general health. We don't know what it is. It has caused him a LOT of problems since he was about 7 years old. When everything is working right he looks and acts like a "regular person". Nothing out of the ordinary. When he's having an "episode" all hell breaks loose. His body language is the first thing I notice. He gets a snarl, body tenses up, clenches fists, scowls, his eyes roll back and he has nystagmus (his eyes flip in a "W" as well as side to side), he can't focus on anything, gets cranky easy, can't drive, can't walk without running into something part of the time (runs into a lot of walls and doorways).
We and his parents have spent thousands on him over the years trying to get some doc to figure him out. I HATE DOCTORS!!!!! Time after time we go in (spending $150 -$200) for 10 minutes of THEIR time (after about an hour wait in their waiting room) and all they do is interrupt and say "you know a lot more about this than I do" "sorry I can't help you" "do you want some anti-depressants?" Don't you think THEY should PAY US??? If we're giving them new knowledge why are WE paying THEM?
We don't have health insurance (had to drop it years ago). Can't afford it. Because my husband's health is so crappy he works about part time. Lately his health has been sooooo bad that he's not working even that much. He has work to do (thank goodness) but he can't focus enough to get it done. I don't know enough about Final Cut or Adobe After Effects to do the projects for him - otherwise I would. Perhaps he needs to seriously teach me so I can do the projects for him when he gets like this. The company he mainly works for (freelance) is MONTHS behind in paying. He has to threaten them by holding footage hostage in order to get paid. Didn't use to be this way. We have to take being treated this way since no one else wants to hire hubby. He's SUPER talented (when he's sane) but he CAN'T make most deadlines. He has a great portfolio.
He can't take care of the kids when he's not feeling well. He can barely take care of himself. He has been getting noticeably WORSE recently. Only able to function a handful of days in a month's time. We think he is on to the solution to some of his health problems but we need more $ to do more testing. It's a double edged sword. We can't test without $ but we can't get $ because he's too sick to work.
In the meantime... utilities keep getting shut off. When they get turned back on we get hit with a turn back on fee. Late fees on our mortgage... as if being broke isn't hard enough as it is... they want more money where there is NONE. Believe me... I WOULD PAY ONTIME IF I HAD THE $$.
I sent a letter in to Dr. Oz on Oprah's website BEGGING Dr. Oz for help. I don't know if anything will come of it. My hubby is willing to share his illness with the nation if it means he gets to see a doc for free and get diagnosed finally. (If you know him you know what a HUGE deal that is - hubby has always kept his health problems as private as possible)
We're as broke as we can get... we're down to 2 diapers in the house and we have 3 kids still in diapers. Our baby has 1 diaper... and Tinkerbell and Power Ranger have to flip a coin on who gets the other one. I want to scream... cry.... give up.
Whenever we do get money it's GONE! We owe soo many people soo much $ and have soo many late fees on top of it we might get to look at the $ for a second before it gets sucked away.
I'm tired of being a liability.....
I started up a new clothing and stuff store on Zazzle last night... I'll get the link to it up soon. I'm going to make this blog public (I never wanted to do that) in hopes that my Zazzle site will get some attention (through advertising it here). I need a job that I can do from home. Can't babysit since I would not feel comfortable having someone else's child here when hubby is not doing well. (he gets cranky when over stimulated - noise etc.) I don't feel comfortable having him here alone for very long when he's having an episode. I'm not sure what he would do if left alone all the time. The Zazzle site would NOT bring in very much unless it suddenly became super popular (not likely) and even then... it would take forever to gain that kind of popularity. I'm just hoping for some sort of additional income.. somewhere.
We don't want handouts.. we want to work and earn what we bring in... desperately need hubby to get his health under control. Wish we could find the right project to fit hubby's ability to work and match his skills.
If anyone needed a miracle... we do ..... NOW!!! Thankfully Prayers are FREE!
UPDATE: Hubby was able to get one client to cough up a bit of $ from some work hubby completed about 4 or 5 years ago. Enough to buy those very needed diapers. YaY! Whew!!! This client is so stingy it's like getting blood from a rock.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dad's Gone
I just got a call a few minutes before midnight Monday July 27th.....
wow....
This really hurts....
I HATE CANCER!!!!
wow....
This really hurts....
I HATE CANCER!!!!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Dad update 7-27-09
My mom called everyone yesterday to give us an update on dad. Looks like he could go any day now. Friday was the last day he drank anything. My mom has been trying every day, several times a day to get him to drink anything - even just water. He spends his days now with his eyes closed most of the time.
When we left to return home on the 21st he was already looking like he was ready to go. He slept a LOT and is getting quite stiff. It's hard to turn his head to look at anything. He seems to have turned his head to face the window and likes it that way.
My husband and I are putting together a video about dad. It will play during the viewing in an area that people can mingle and see it. Mom is sending up several items for me to scan to add to the video. My dad has lived an amazing life. He's been to a lot of places and "worn several hats" in his lifetime.
Dad has beem:
-in the army
-in the air force
-served in Japan and France
-a farmer/rancher
-a truck driver for Swift
-a high school teacher
-a mechanic for Arizona state motorpool
-a rodeo bullrider
-a little league baseball coach
-a temple worker
-he built a water truck (used for construction)
-he could fix anything - it won't be pretty but it will work
There's more but those are the highlights. My dad has taught me a LOT. Main thing I've learned from him is how to fix just about anything. Nothing is impossible to figure out even if right now I don't know how to fix it.... I can learn.
My dad has not been a saint all his life.... He did have a fierce temper sometimes (where I got my fisety streak from). Thankfully he mellowed out over the years. Old age does have its good points. Dad was born a member of the LDS church then just quit going for a time. It was when he was still in the military that he thought "there must be something better than this". He pulled out his military issue Book of Mormon and started reading. It didn't take long before he became active again. I'm grateful he did.
I'm sure I will learn a lot more about dad in the next few weeks. I'll post anything interesting when I can. Posting here is very helpful. I can get stuff out of my system without having to worry about my voice cracking or tears starting to flow. I know dad passing will be mercy for him... it's just hard to lose a loved one no matter how sick they are at the moment.
When we left to return home on the 21st he was already looking like he was ready to go. He slept a LOT and is getting quite stiff. It's hard to turn his head to look at anything. He seems to have turned his head to face the window and likes it that way.
My husband and I are putting together a video about dad. It will play during the viewing in an area that people can mingle and see it. Mom is sending up several items for me to scan to add to the video. My dad has lived an amazing life. He's been to a lot of places and "worn several hats" in his lifetime.
Dad has beem:
-in the army
-in the air force
-served in Japan and France
-a farmer/rancher
-a truck driver for Swift
-a high school teacher
-a mechanic for Arizona state motorpool
-a rodeo bullrider
-a little league baseball coach
-a temple worker
-he built a water truck (used for construction)
-he could fix anything - it won't be pretty but it will work
There's more but those are the highlights. My dad has taught me a LOT. Main thing I've learned from him is how to fix just about anything. Nothing is impossible to figure out even if right now I don't know how to fix it.... I can learn.
My dad has not been a saint all his life.... He did have a fierce temper sometimes (where I got my fisety streak from). Thankfully he mellowed out over the years. Old age does have its good points. Dad was born a member of the LDS church then just quit going for a time. It was when he was still in the military that he thought "there must be something better than this". He pulled out his military issue Book of Mormon and started reading. It didn't take long before he became active again. I'm grateful he did.
I'm sure I will learn a lot more about dad in the next few weeks. I'll post anything interesting when I can. Posting here is very helpful. I can get stuff out of my system without having to worry about my voice cracking or tears starting to flow. I know dad passing will be mercy for him... it's just hard to lose a loved one no matter how sick they are at the moment.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
visiting dad
Wow! I was totally not prepared to see my dad. I have talked to him on the phone and knew he was not "his old self". I knew he hasn't been eating much (cancer does that) .... but WOW! I just saw him in Feb. He looks sooooo different. Basically skin and bones. I think he's about 6'3" and use to weigh about 260lbs. We all guess he's about 180 now - maybe less. He still has strength in his arms to help us lift him and scooch him up in the bed. He is completely bed bound now. Fighting some evil looking bed sores. The good thing is he doesn't feel any pain when he's just laying there.
My brother said dad took a huge downturn about 2 weeks ago. He's expecting dad to not make it past this month. I'm thinking he'll make it into next month. Either way you look at it.. not much longer now.
We've all come to terms with losing dad. It will still be sad when he does go but I think we've all greived in our own ways at just the thought of dad not being here any more.
I got to say "I love you" to him last night. He held up his hand and I held his. He gave my hand a pretty good squeeze and said "I love you too". THAT is why I came. Dad has good days and bad days. He's "not home" most of the time. I found an open window in his constant fog and was able to say in person what I wanted him to hear. Then again... he's always known that I love him. After helping mom change his diaper this morning my kids all spontaneously gathered around him and said that they loved him. He was alert and able to respond. His smiles are worth a million bucks!
My husband should be joining us on Monday... just in time to help us drive back home on Tuesday. Our van is not behaving and I don't want to be stuck on some desert road by myself with 5 young children. He has been home and working this entire time. He flew back just a couple of hours after helping us drive here.
This is just a short update.. I gotta go now. I can hear dad coughing and I need to see if he needs anything. I hope you all are doing well.
My brother said dad took a huge downturn about 2 weeks ago. He's expecting dad to not make it past this month. I'm thinking he'll make it into next month. Either way you look at it.. not much longer now.
We've all come to terms with losing dad. It will still be sad when he does go but I think we've all greived in our own ways at just the thought of dad not being here any more.
I got to say "I love you" to him last night. He held up his hand and I held his. He gave my hand a pretty good squeeze and said "I love you too". THAT is why I came. Dad has good days and bad days. He's "not home" most of the time. I found an open window in his constant fog and was able to say in person what I wanted him to hear. Then again... he's always known that I love him. After helping mom change his diaper this morning my kids all spontaneously gathered around him and said that they loved him. He was alert and able to respond. His smiles are worth a million bucks!
My husband should be joining us on Monday... just in time to help us drive back home on Tuesday. Our van is not behaving and I don't want to be stuck on some desert road by myself with 5 young children. He has been home and working this entire time. He flew back just a couple of hours after helping us drive here.
This is just a short update.. I gotta go now. I can hear dad coughing and I need to see if he needs anything. I hope you all are doing well.
Friday, May 22, 2009
SHE'S HERE!!!
Ok... I don't have a nickname for our little bundle yet... so.. "Peanut" is here!!!
I have to laugh... The morning after my last post my contractions started (again)... well, you can see the results. LOL!!
THE STORY:
I went to my regular 37 week visit at my midwives office. I was contracting and feeling less chipper than my regular self. Did all the usual check-up stuff. When the midwife checked to see how dilated I was her face changed. Her eyes bugged out a bit and she said "Oh, BOY!! You're 7cm with a bulging bag". So off we went to the hospital (only a couple of minutes up the road from the office).
They were expecting me and rushed me to my L&D room. Got there around 11:45am. 30 min later I got my epidural (yay!!! I did not have one for the last 2 pregnancies and have some long term damage from things going so fast). I was hoping the epidural would slow down my labor (it did by about 30 minutes).
The midwife had 4 other ladies in labor at the time. It was a very busy day. Apparently the weather was playing into the day's events. It had been sunny and a BEAUTIFUL day until after Peanut was born. Within 20 min of her birth this is what it looked like outside:
The midwife came in a little before 1 and asked when I wanted her to break my water... I said.. whenever you have some time and want to deliver this babe (I don't stay pregnant for very long after my water breaks. With Tinkerbell - she was born about 30 min later).
That epidural was AMAZING!!!! I didn't feel much. I got to watch the monitor tell me I was having contractions. They started coming so fast one couldn't end completely before the next one would be going full force. Then her heart rate dropped to about 100BPM (should be in the 140's). They put an oxygen mask on me and turned me onto my right side. Well.... they did tell me that the epidural works by gravity... My right side went totally numb while my left side started to wake up. Then I started to FEEL the pain during transition. I rotated back to my back - slightly tipped to my left trying to convince the meds to move over (YES, I pushed the button for more drugs ha ha). It didn't have really a chance to do it's thing before the nurse came in to confirm that Peanut was "right there".
Wall buttons get pushed... midwife and nurses come rushing in. Everyone is moving in such a swift and smooth pattern it looked rehersed. For the first time ever (Peanut is my 5th child) I got to SEE one of my babies get born. I also was given the opportunity to help pull her out. WOW was NOT expecting that one.
I can honestly say that this was the easiest and literally most FUN birth I've ever experienced. I never knew that it could be so awesome... and controlled. I'm use to TONS of pain and my brain being Liquified GOO from all the chemicals and pain surging through my system. Rather than being in chaos I was in AWE.
Here's Peanut being held by daddy right after birth:
I got to enjoy some time with just the youngest 2 girls:
Here is the family... READY to visit the new baby:
Our Greeting when we got home:
I have to laugh... The morning after my last post my contractions started (again)... well, you can see the results. LOL!!
THE STORY:
I went to my regular 37 week visit at my midwives office. I was contracting and feeling less chipper than my regular self. Did all the usual check-up stuff. When the midwife checked to see how dilated I was her face changed. Her eyes bugged out a bit and she said "Oh, BOY!! You're 7cm with a bulging bag". So off we went to the hospital (only a couple of minutes up the road from the office).
They were expecting me and rushed me to my L&D room. Got there around 11:45am. 30 min later I got my epidural (yay!!! I did not have one for the last 2 pregnancies and have some long term damage from things going so fast). I was hoping the epidural would slow down my labor (it did by about 30 minutes).
The midwife had 4 other ladies in labor at the time. It was a very busy day. Apparently the weather was playing into the day's events. It had been sunny and a BEAUTIFUL day until after Peanut was born. Within 20 min of her birth this is what it looked like outside:
The midwife came in a little before 1 and asked when I wanted her to break my water... I said.. whenever you have some time and want to deliver this babe (I don't stay pregnant for very long after my water breaks. With Tinkerbell - she was born about 30 min later).
That epidural was AMAZING!!!! I didn't feel much. I got to watch the monitor tell me I was having contractions. They started coming so fast one couldn't end completely before the next one would be going full force. Then her heart rate dropped to about 100BPM (should be in the 140's). They put an oxygen mask on me and turned me onto my right side. Well.... they did tell me that the epidural works by gravity... My right side went totally numb while my left side started to wake up. Then I started to FEEL the pain during transition. I rotated back to my back - slightly tipped to my left trying to convince the meds to move over (YES, I pushed the button for more drugs ha ha). It didn't have really a chance to do it's thing before the nurse came in to confirm that Peanut was "right there".
Wall buttons get pushed... midwife and nurses come rushing in. Everyone is moving in such a swift and smooth pattern it looked rehersed. For the first time ever (Peanut is my 5th child) I got to SEE one of my babies get born. I also was given the opportunity to help pull her out. WOW was NOT expecting that one.
I can honestly say that this was the easiest and literally most FUN birth I've ever experienced. I never knew that it could be so awesome... and controlled. I'm use to TONS of pain and my brain being Liquified GOO from all the chemicals and pain surging through my system. Rather than being in chaos I was in AWE.
Here's Peanut being held by daddy right after birth:
I got to enjoy some time with just the youngest 2 girls:
Here is the family... READY to visit the new baby:
Our Greeting when we got home:
Monday, May 18, 2009
37 weeks 2 days - What's different this time?
I'm still PG. YAY and wierd. I've never gone a day over 37 weeks. For the first time I am actually worried about having a big baby. I was told that Tinkerbell would have been between 9 1/2 and 10lbs. if she had been born at 40 weeks. She was about 7 1/2 lbs at 37 weeks. Most babies are just a little over 6lbs. at 37 weeks.
So.... I got to thinking... what's different this time. Well.. biggest thing is we're in a different house. The old house made us sick. By the time we moved out I had daily problems: dizziness, muscle weakness, memory loss, all joints hurt, headaches, lack of oomph. Basically... I was falling into walls, I would be climbing up the stairs and my legs would give out and down I would fall, I had to write EVERYTHING down or I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do, I was popping pain meds like they were nothing, I just sat around and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. It was VERY scary. I was wondering what was wrong with me.
Then we moved to the "new house". This house was infected with drugs and had to go through a HUGE and expensive process to be de-drugged before we could move in. We ran out of $ before we could get everything fixed / replaced. The process eats through metal so all metal items (hinges, door knobs, faucets, light fixtures etc..) need to be replaced. We got about 1/2 way. We're living with the yucky looking metal stuff where we couldn't afford to tare it out.
Anyway... within about 2 months of moving here I started to feel a little better. Less symptoms. It took about 9 months in total for me to be completely rid of all the bad symptoms and be "human" again. Hubby and his brother and brother's wife were over at the old house a few weeks ago. They ripped out the old furnace and air ducts as well as the old water heater (it leaked). The furnace was at least 18 years old and NEEDED to be replaced. They found about 1 1/2 - 2 inches of dust and junk in the air duct returns. They also found a mason jar with some green chrystals in it (mouse poison?). They also found a completely melted golf ball in a lower portion of the furnace (on the burners) - this section was sealed and we could not get to it until they were ripping it out. I had the air ducts "cleaned" out about a year after moving there. I felt like I got the flu and it never went away after moving in there. The "cleaning" made me feel a bit better but I never felt 100% better. We lived there a total of about 11 years.
When we first were in the old house we had to remove a few DeCon bait traps (green poison) from the air returns in the front room. We vacuumed out TONS of green mouse poos from the air ducts as well. LOTS of crayons etc... The house had been lived in for many years by some pretty big families despite it's small size. It was built in 1911 and has seen MANY people over the years.
So... we were breathing in the fumes from Mouse poos, DeCon, a melted golf ball, who knows what was in the mason jar, the enormous buildup of stuff in the ducts... on top of that was the carpet that WE put into the basement that laid directly under the leaky tub and absorbed all the dripping water from 11 years of baths/showers. It was nearly completely black with mold.
All of that I was exposed to while pregnant with all of our current 4 children. The twins were born premature at 29 weeks. Power Ranger was born premature at 35 weeks and also has a genetic disorder. Also, with him I was driving around a Jeep Cherokee that we "inherited" from hubby's brother who used drugs and allowed friends to do drugs in the vehicle with him. Despite all my cleaning when we first got it there was NO way to clean out the a/c system. Drugs like to stick to plastic (we found out a lot when getting this house de-drugged). Tinkerbell was the last born over there but we were using more (expensive to operate) space heaters and less of the house furnace. Hubby was "experimenting". Tinker was born "full term" the day I turned 37 weeks. She is the only child without any issues or problems right from the beginning. We were also no longer driving the Jeep when I got PG with her.
Needless to day... the old house is being made "better" so no one else has to live the lives we did. We're going forward as we can afford to. Trying to sell it but make sure it's healthy when it is sold.
So what's different and "allowing" me to go well into full term status with this pregnancy? Well... EVERYTHING!!! Granted I do have more stress this time with finances and my dad's cancer and vehicle transmission problems. Apparently my body can cope with that kind of stress. I'm so glad to be able to breathe clean air without fumes etc.... Now I'm VERY curious as to WHO this little girl will be. She already has a much better start in life than the other kids did. (just with air quality alone)
Now... If I could just hurry up and shake this dang cold I've been fighting. It moved down into my lungs and I've been coughing up a storm. Everyone else in the family seems to have had it and shaken it in about 3-4 days. I have been worried about having her while fighting this illness. I don't want to be coughing on my new baby.
So.... I got to thinking... what's different this time. Well.. biggest thing is we're in a different house. The old house made us sick. By the time we moved out I had daily problems: dizziness, muscle weakness, memory loss, all joints hurt, headaches, lack of oomph. Basically... I was falling into walls, I would be climbing up the stairs and my legs would give out and down I would fall, I had to write EVERYTHING down or I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do, I was popping pain meds like they were nothing, I just sat around and didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. It was VERY scary. I was wondering what was wrong with me.
Then we moved to the "new house". This house was infected with drugs and had to go through a HUGE and expensive process to be de-drugged before we could move in. We ran out of $ before we could get everything fixed / replaced. The process eats through metal so all metal items (hinges, door knobs, faucets, light fixtures etc..) need to be replaced. We got about 1/2 way. We're living with the yucky looking metal stuff where we couldn't afford to tare it out.
Anyway... within about 2 months of moving here I started to feel a little better. Less symptoms. It took about 9 months in total for me to be completely rid of all the bad symptoms and be "human" again. Hubby and his brother and brother's wife were over at the old house a few weeks ago. They ripped out the old furnace and air ducts as well as the old water heater (it leaked). The furnace was at least 18 years old and NEEDED to be replaced. They found about 1 1/2 - 2 inches of dust and junk in the air duct returns. They also found a mason jar with some green chrystals in it (mouse poison?). They also found a completely melted golf ball in a lower portion of the furnace (on the burners) - this section was sealed and we could not get to it until they were ripping it out. I had the air ducts "cleaned" out about a year after moving there. I felt like I got the flu and it never went away after moving in there. The "cleaning" made me feel a bit better but I never felt 100% better. We lived there a total of about 11 years.
When we first were in the old house we had to remove a few DeCon bait traps (green poison) from the air returns in the front room. We vacuumed out TONS of green mouse poos from the air ducts as well. LOTS of crayons etc... The house had been lived in for many years by some pretty big families despite it's small size. It was built in 1911 and has seen MANY people over the years.
So... we were breathing in the fumes from Mouse poos, DeCon, a melted golf ball, who knows what was in the mason jar, the enormous buildup of stuff in the ducts... on top of that was the carpet that WE put into the basement that laid directly under the leaky tub and absorbed all the dripping water from 11 years of baths/showers. It was nearly completely black with mold.
All of that I was exposed to while pregnant with all of our current 4 children. The twins were born premature at 29 weeks. Power Ranger was born premature at 35 weeks and also has a genetic disorder. Also, with him I was driving around a Jeep Cherokee that we "inherited" from hubby's brother who used drugs and allowed friends to do drugs in the vehicle with him. Despite all my cleaning when we first got it there was NO way to clean out the a/c system. Drugs like to stick to plastic (we found out a lot when getting this house de-drugged). Tinkerbell was the last born over there but we were using more (expensive to operate) space heaters and less of the house furnace. Hubby was "experimenting". Tinker was born "full term" the day I turned 37 weeks. She is the only child without any issues or problems right from the beginning. We were also no longer driving the Jeep when I got PG with her.
Needless to day... the old house is being made "better" so no one else has to live the lives we did. We're going forward as we can afford to. Trying to sell it but make sure it's healthy when it is sold.
So what's different and "allowing" me to go well into full term status with this pregnancy? Well... EVERYTHING!!! Granted I do have more stress this time with finances and my dad's cancer and vehicle transmission problems. Apparently my body can cope with that kind of stress. I'm so glad to be able to breathe clean air without fumes etc.... Now I'm VERY curious as to WHO this little girl will be. She already has a much better start in life than the other kids did. (just with air quality alone)
Now... If I could just hurry up and shake this dang cold I've been fighting. It moved down into my lungs and I've been coughing up a storm. Everyone else in the family seems to have had it and shaken it in about 3-4 days. I have been worried about having her while fighting this illness. I don't want to be coughing on my new baby.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Baby update 5/12
Still preg. YAY!!! Latest update has me progressing. 4 1/2cm and 80% effaced. Who really knows when this little girl will be here. History tells me that it won't be too much longer. I will be "full term" and 37 weeks on Saturday. I'm hoping to make it that far. At that point I won't have to worry about her lungs and general state of health. "Tinkerbell" was born at 37 weeks and she was a healthy 7 1/2 pounds.
I've always wanted to be the type of woman who "glowed" while preg. Who just be-boped through life and never had any issues with being PG. Well.... my body had other plans. I've always had pretty eventful pregnancies that I would rather forget. I LOVE the babies.... I just greatly dislike the process to "bake" them.
We are definately in the final weeks (poss. days). I'm excited and relieved to be at the end of the rainbow.
Right now.... I REALLY miss my mom. This is the first PG that I have not had her here. I didn't know how much I relied on her strength, humor, love etc... She's taking care of my dad who definately needs her far more than I do. Having her around always brought a peace and a strength that I desperately need at this time. We would stay up late working on wordsearch puzzles.... I would give her a perm and cut her hair... LOTS of giggling could be heard until all strange hours of the morning. She is such a neat woman. I have been truely blessed to have been her daughter. Sometimes I just need a hug from her. It's been nearly a year since we've seen each other. It's so hard being 600 miles apart.
I've always wanted to be the type of woman who "glowed" while preg. Who just be-boped through life and never had any issues with being PG. Well.... my body had other plans. I've always had pretty eventful pregnancies that I would rather forget. I LOVE the babies.... I just greatly dislike the process to "bake" them.
We are definately in the final weeks (poss. days). I'm excited and relieved to be at the end of the rainbow.
Right now.... I REALLY miss my mom. This is the first PG that I have not had her here. I didn't know how much I relied on her strength, humor, love etc... She's taking care of my dad who definately needs her far more than I do. Having her around always brought a peace and a strength that I desperately need at this time. We would stay up late working on wordsearch puzzles.... I would give her a perm and cut her hair... LOTS of giggling could be heard until all strange hours of the morning. She is such a neat woman. I have been truely blessed to have been her daughter. Sometimes I just need a hug from her. It's been nearly a year since we've seen each other. It's so hard being 600 miles apart.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Happy Bloganniversary to me!!!
I've been posting on this blog for 1 YEAR now!!! I can't believe it's been that long. Sorry I don't post as often as many of you but I do my best.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Update on things 4/27
Dad update: Dad is currently at home getting hospice care there. He lives in a hospital bed on the main level of the house. A nurse comes out several times a week to help mom with whatever she needs as well as restock any supplies she needs.
Dad gets a fever quite frequently (daily or almost daily). Mom keeps on top of things and keeps it under control. The doc's don't have any idea why he has the fever (can't find the source of the infection).
Dad's dimentia sometimes gets the better of him. Most of the time he has his wits about him. He has had times where he can't remember anything from about 1960 onward. He met and married my mom in the mid 60's. It's sad to think that he doesn't know who she is at times. Mom is an AMAZING woman!!!
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Pregnancy update: I went in to my midwife today (34 weeks 2 days). Well... I have good news and bad news. The good news is I'm still pregnant and the baby is head down. The bad news is I've been contracting a TON and they are starting to dilate me. I'm 3cm dilated and 60% effaced (thinned out). I am hoping I can get to Mother's Day weekend where I will be 36 weeks. I could sure use some prayers about now. Contractions have been pretty consistant around 7 min apart since my appt. I've been trying everything I am aware of to get them to chill out but have yet to make a dent.
As I said... Prayers are not just welcomed but NEEDED and appreciated. I need to bake this little girl a bit longer. I don't want her to have to spend any time in the NICU. I've been there and done that. I totally hate having to leave a hospital without the baby I went in there with.
Dad gets a fever quite frequently (daily or almost daily). Mom keeps on top of things and keeps it under control. The doc's don't have any idea why he has the fever (can't find the source of the infection).
Dad's dimentia sometimes gets the better of him. Most of the time he has his wits about him. He has had times where he can't remember anything from about 1960 onward. He met and married my mom in the mid 60's. It's sad to think that he doesn't know who she is at times. Mom is an AMAZING woman!!!
-----------------------------
Pregnancy update: I went in to my midwife today (34 weeks 2 days). Well... I have good news and bad news. The good news is I'm still pregnant and the baby is head down. The bad news is I've been contracting a TON and they are starting to dilate me. I'm 3cm dilated and 60% effaced (thinned out). I am hoping I can get to Mother's Day weekend where I will be 36 weeks. I could sure use some prayers about now. Contractions have been pretty consistant around 7 min apart since my appt. I've been trying everything I am aware of to get them to chill out but have yet to make a dent.
As I said... Prayers are not just welcomed but NEEDED and appreciated. I need to bake this little girl a bit longer. I don't want her to have to spend any time in the NICU. I've been there and done that. I totally hate having to leave a hospital without the baby I went in there with.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Don't judge a book by its cover!
I can't embed this video so you will have to click on the link.
Great example of what happens when you judge someone based on their appearance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg
Great example of what happens when you judge someone based on their appearance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luRmM1J1sfg
Friday, March 27, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
March 21st update
Yesterday the twins (dragon girl and jabber box) turned 9. I will post picts of the awesome cakes we made (hubby helped me with some of the details) later. I can't believe how fast time has flown.
Vehicles - We got the van fixed and put back into much needed use at the exact same time our truck died. Hubby has a theory that we are allowed to have only one working vehicle at a time. The truck had a very expensive problem - fuel pump went bad. Got that fixed so we now have two working vehicles. YAY!! Nothing in the bank account but we can at least drive to go visit our empty account. ha ha
Dad - Tuesday my parents and brother went to the oncologist. Dad had a 102.5 degree fever and had a very difficult time getting from the car to the doc's office. Thank goodness my bro went to offer a strong arm. Dad was leaning so hard on his walker that it wasn't moving very fast. The bad news.... Dad will NOT be getting chemotherapy. They were told that pancreatic cancer chemotherapy has a history of giving the patient an average of only 1 year of life and the person has to have been an active and fairly healthy person prior to being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Dad has 2 of the most evil cancers a person can get. Primary pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer. The docs have been very honest and have said over and over that dad is "a very sick man". Mom is trying to make things easier on him by providing as much fresh fruit and veggies he can eat. They are much easier on his digestion. She fixes him an egg or two or beans for iron since he's pretty anemic. It seems that we are basically waiting for the cancer to win. I enjoy being able to talk with him as much as I can right now. I feel that each conversation is a gift.
Baby - My contractions are down to a dull roar now. On their own. I have some meds that are supposed to calm them down if we have too many again. I haven't had to take any yet. I've been pretty much just laying down on the couch and being a slug. My FFN (fetal fibronectin) test results were negative!!! YAY!!! That just means that from the day the test was done the chances are high that I will NOT go into labor during the following 2 weeks. I have 1 more week of this "peace of mind".
So... there's the latest. I hope our lives continue to get calmer and calmer. I am looking forward to sharing picts of the awesome b-day cakes that we all enjoyed for the twin's birthday. We will be munching on them for several days. Next week is my hubby's 40th b-day. Wish we could do something awesome for that day. Seems that a quiet typical b-day party is what we will have to have.
Vehicles - We got the van fixed and put back into much needed use at the exact same time our truck died. Hubby has a theory that we are allowed to have only one working vehicle at a time. The truck had a very expensive problem - fuel pump went bad. Got that fixed so we now have two working vehicles. YAY!! Nothing in the bank account but we can at least drive to go visit our empty account. ha ha
Dad - Tuesday my parents and brother went to the oncologist. Dad had a 102.5 degree fever and had a very difficult time getting from the car to the doc's office. Thank goodness my bro went to offer a strong arm. Dad was leaning so hard on his walker that it wasn't moving very fast. The bad news.... Dad will NOT be getting chemotherapy. They were told that pancreatic cancer chemotherapy has a history of giving the patient an average of only 1 year of life and the person has to have been an active and fairly healthy person prior to being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Dad has 2 of the most evil cancers a person can get. Primary pancreatic cancer and secondary liver cancer. The docs have been very honest and have said over and over that dad is "a very sick man". Mom is trying to make things easier on him by providing as much fresh fruit and veggies he can eat. They are much easier on his digestion. She fixes him an egg or two or beans for iron since he's pretty anemic. It seems that we are basically waiting for the cancer to win. I enjoy being able to talk with him as much as I can right now. I feel that each conversation is a gift.
Baby - My contractions are down to a dull roar now. On their own. I have some meds that are supposed to calm them down if we have too many again. I haven't had to take any yet. I've been pretty much just laying down on the couch and being a slug. My FFN (fetal fibronectin) test results were negative!!! YAY!!! That just means that from the day the test was done the chances are high that I will NOT go into labor during the following 2 weeks. I have 1 more week of this "peace of mind".
So... there's the latest. I hope our lives continue to get calmer and calmer. I am looking forward to sharing picts of the awesome b-day cakes that we all enjoyed for the twin's birthday. We will be munching on them for several days. Next week is my hubby's 40th b-day. Wish we could do something awesome for that day. Seems that a quiet typical b-day party is what we will have to have.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Update - Lots have been happening
Ok... I've been wanting to update for a few days now but things have been really hopping lately.
Refridg -
We got the evap fan motor. I installed it but the fan still did not start up. I found that Sears parts center had a thermostat in stock. Hubby picked one up, installed it, and the 12 year old refridge LIVES again!!!!! AND we got to save probably a good $100 by doing the work ourselves.
Dad -
Dad got home from the hospital Monday evening. He is on oxygen day and night (yay). He's still on antibiotics. My mom has to give him his heprin shots (for the blood clots in his lungs). The shot goes into his tummy which is a little creepy for my mom... she's getting her nursing 101 degree I guess. He sounds great on the phone. I'm not sure when they will be starting the chemo. I think they may be waiting for the lungs to clear the clots before they impose more stress on his body.
Van -
It has been towed to the repair shop and we will get some word of it's demise / repair in the morning. We are getting assistance in the repair costs - Yay!
Truck -
Hubby has been working on all the problems that are preventing it from being registered. He did stop off and get it temporarly registered. He has 2 weeks to get things fixed and passed before the temp registration expires. At least now we can drive it around to get the parts we need and not have to look over our shoulders worrying about getting pulled over.
$$$ -
Still haven't received anything... BUT... Hubby is heading over to his biggest client in the morning - with the aid of the guy he works for there - to bug the "big wigs" for payment of some sort. We shall see. Hubby's services are greatly needed right now but he refuses to work further for this company until he receives some sort of show of good intent (ie $$$ for past work completed). Keeping fingers crossed for that to work out. I do understand that you can't get blood from a rock. I know they're very strapped for cash but they seem to be able to make payroll for their employees... just not their contract labor guys.
Baby -
We made an emergency run to L&D (labor and delivery) this morning. I was woken up from a dead sleep (3:30am) by a barrage of owie contractions. They wouldn't let up and pain was starting to come from my lower back during them. After I got hooked up we could see they were coming every 3 - 5 minutes. After being there for 4 hours they lightened up on their own. They ran a few tests. The important one came back inconclusive so I will have that one run again on Friday at my regular midwife appt. Today I am 27 weeks 4 days along. I DO NOT want to see this little one until MUCH later - May at the earliest. My contractions will not stop until this peanut is born. I just get nervous when trying to figure out if they are just "regular" contractions or ones I need to be worried about.
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So there you have all the updates. I have very few comments left here but I have heard of several people stopping by to read these. I want to say HI to everyone and thank you for being concerned about how my life is progressing.
Refridg -
We got the evap fan motor. I installed it but the fan still did not start up. I found that Sears parts center had a thermostat in stock. Hubby picked one up, installed it, and the 12 year old refridge LIVES again!!!!! AND we got to save probably a good $100 by doing the work ourselves.
Dad -
Dad got home from the hospital Monday evening. He is on oxygen day and night (yay). He's still on antibiotics. My mom has to give him his heprin shots (for the blood clots in his lungs). The shot goes into his tummy which is a little creepy for my mom... she's getting her nursing 101 degree I guess. He sounds great on the phone. I'm not sure when they will be starting the chemo. I think they may be waiting for the lungs to clear the clots before they impose more stress on his body.
Van -
It has been towed to the repair shop and we will get some word of it's demise / repair in the morning. We are getting assistance in the repair costs - Yay!
Truck -
Hubby has been working on all the problems that are preventing it from being registered. He did stop off and get it temporarly registered. He has 2 weeks to get things fixed and passed before the temp registration expires. At least now we can drive it around to get the parts we need and not have to look over our shoulders worrying about getting pulled over.
$$$ -
Still haven't received anything... BUT... Hubby is heading over to his biggest client in the morning - with the aid of the guy he works for there - to bug the "big wigs" for payment of some sort. We shall see. Hubby's services are greatly needed right now but he refuses to work further for this company until he receives some sort of show of good intent (ie $$$ for past work completed). Keeping fingers crossed for that to work out. I do understand that you can't get blood from a rock. I know they're very strapped for cash but they seem to be able to make payroll for their employees... just not their contract labor guys.
Baby -
We made an emergency run to L&D (labor and delivery) this morning. I was woken up from a dead sleep (3:30am) by a barrage of owie contractions. They wouldn't let up and pain was starting to come from my lower back during them. After I got hooked up we could see they were coming every 3 - 5 minutes. After being there for 4 hours they lightened up on their own. They ran a few tests. The important one came back inconclusive so I will have that one run again on Friday at my regular midwife appt. Today I am 27 weeks 4 days along. I DO NOT want to see this little one until MUCH later - May at the earliest. My contractions will not stop until this peanut is born. I just get nervous when trying to figure out if they are just "regular" contractions or ones I need to be worried about.
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So there you have all the updates. I have very few comments left here but I have heard of several people stopping by to read these. I want to say HI to everyone and thank you for being concerned about how my life is progressing.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Dad update Fri 3/6
The docs ordered a CAT scan of his chest this morning. They've been trying to figure out why he's had a fever (101). The scan showed that he has several blood clots in his lungs. They are keeping him in the hospital for a couple more days to give him heprin to help clear out the clots. When he goes home he will be on some oral pill that is not as strong but will work similar to heprin.
The biopsy results varified that dad does have pancreatic cancer. He will be starting chemotherapy soon. Right now they're waiting for his oncologist to give the thumbs up. The concern was about his fever. It may delay treatment of the cancer. The chemo will be in a pill form taken once a week.
Mom said that dad has eaten quite well today. She got to the hospital pretty early this morning so she could be there when any of the doctors showed up. She's been sitting there and making sure he eats as much as she can convince him to eat. She got him an ensure drink that he liked. Concentrated and easy to digest boost of nutrition. They will be sending a diatitian in to see if anything else needs to be done to keep proper nutrition in him.
My sister and 2 of her kids and one of her grandson's are sneaking (driving) out to be with mom as I type this. Mom doesn't know - thank goodness. She would find some goofy reason to object to anyone coming out (she doesn't like to be a burden). I find a great deal of peace to know that she will be there for mom's sanity. I can't imagine being the sole caretaker of dad with such a huge "project" underway without having someone physically there to voice concerns to. Phone calls are good but not nearly as good as being there. Also, my sister has a LOT of experience in hospitals (one family member or another). She comes up with questions for the docs that most people would never think of to ask. What a relief for all of us to have her there.
The biopsy results varified that dad does have pancreatic cancer. He will be starting chemotherapy soon. Right now they're waiting for his oncologist to give the thumbs up. The concern was about his fever. It may delay treatment of the cancer. The chemo will be in a pill form taken once a week.
Mom said that dad has eaten quite well today. She got to the hospital pretty early this morning so she could be there when any of the doctors showed up. She's been sitting there and making sure he eats as much as she can convince him to eat. She got him an ensure drink that he liked. Concentrated and easy to digest boost of nutrition. They will be sending a diatitian in to see if anything else needs to be done to keep proper nutrition in him.
My sister and 2 of her kids and one of her grandson's are sneaking (driving) out to be with mom as I type this. Mom doesn't know - thank goodness. She would find some goofy reason to object to anyone coming out (she doesn't like to be a burden). I find a great deal of peace to know that she will be there for mom's sanity. I can't imagine being the sole caretaker of dad with such a huge "project" underway without having someone physically there to voice concerns to. Phone calls are good but not nearly as good as being there. Also, my sister has a LOT of experience in hospitals (one family member or another). She comes up with questions for the docs that most people would never think of to ask. What a relief for all of us to have her there.
Life is getting to be a bit much right now
I was afraid that I was going to go into labor tonight from the stress of life....
1. Hubby just got a ticket for failure to signal
2. Our fridge/freezer is still on the blink. Part won't be here until anywhere from tomorrow to Tuesday. It's been out for several days already.
3. Still haven't been paid!!!
4. Van is still dead.
5. Mortgage is due.
6. Truck needs some repairs before it will pass safety and IM inspections. Registration expired at the end of LAST YEAR!
7. Got a pretty grim update from my mom about my dad's health.
Am thankful for:
1. Hubby got his driver's license renewed YESTERDAY (it had expired a year ago).
UPDATE ON MY DAD:
Yesterday I had a small ray of hope. Turned out that his legs had been infected and it is called cellulitis. The infection had been going on for more than a year. He was responding very well to the antibiotics. Legs were looking quite normal colored (except for one area on his right leg). We were hoping that perhaps the spots in his liver and pancreas could be infection rather than cancer. He actually ate somewhat normal amounts of food...
Then today happened.
He ate - maybe 500 calories worth of food all day (I actually think it was less). His fever came back this evening. Even though they still haven't received the biopsy results they are calling it cancer and are proceeding with chemo tomorrow. The 2 - 4 "spots" they found in his liver a few weeks ago have now grown into a softball size mass on the right side of his liver.
The logic side of my brain has come to terms with the very high probability that my dad won't be here on earth much longer. The emotional side of me wants to break down into tears just at the thought of him not being here. Logic says it will actually be a "gift" for him to not have to suffer from his dimentia for many more years.
I'm VERY grateful that I have had the opportunity to be with him recently. I got to hug him and tell him how much I love him.
I hope that whenever he does pass (now or 10 years from now) that there won't be any blocks to being able to attend the funeral. I couldn't handle life if I couldn't go.
Dang contractions....
Better go lay down...
1. Hubby just got a ticket for failure to signal
2. Our fridge/freezer is still on the blink. Part won't be here until anywhere from tomorrow to Tuesday. It's been out for several days already.
3. Still haven't been paid!!!
4. Van is still dead.
5. Mortgage is due.
6. Truck needs some repairs before it will pass safety and IM inspections. Registration expired at the end of LAST YEAR!
7. Got a pretty grim update from my mom about my dad's health.
Am thankful for:
1. Hubby got his driver's license renewed YESTERDAY (it had expired a year ago).
UPDATE ON MY DAD:
Yesterday I had a small ray of hope. Turned out that his legs had been infected and it is called cellulitis. The infection had been going on for more than a year. He was responding very well to the antibiotics. Legs were looking quite normal colored (except for one area on his right leg). We were hoping that perhaps the spots in his liver and pancreas could be infection rather than cancer. He actually ate somewhat normal amounts of food...
Then today happened.
He ate - maybe 500 calories worth of food all day (I actually think it was less). His fever came back this evening. Even though they still haven't received the biopsy results they are calling it cancer and are proceeding with chemo tomorrow. The 2 - 4 "spots" they found in his liver a few weeks ago have now grown into a softball size mass on the right side of his liver.
The logic side of my brain has come to terms with the very high probability that my dad won't be here on earth much longer. The emotional side of me wants to break down into tears just at the thought of him not being here. Logic says it will actually be a "gift" for him to not have to suffer from his dimentia for many more years.
I'm VERY grateful that I have had the opportunity to be with him recently. I got to hug him and tell him how much I love him.
I hope that whenever he does pass (now or 10 years from now) that there won't be any blocks to being able to attend the funeral. I couldn't handle life if I couldn't go.
Dang contractions....
Better go lay down...
Monday, March 2, 2009
Dad
My mom just called to tell me that my dad's in the hospital today. He will be there for several days. He came down with a fever and was just not moving or eating much. He's on monitors, oxygen and antibiotics.
My mom took him to the ER this afternoon at the urging of his oncologist. She sat there with him until 9pm when he begged her to go home and get some food and rest. He didn't have a room yet but he's being taken care of in one of the ER cubicles.
She said that he's pink now and very chatty (opposite of how he was when she took him).
I think this is his pneumonia coming back with a vengence. I didn't think the antibiotics he was on when he was here were working well enough. He was on the last few days of a 10 day course and he looked and acted like someone who needed to be on some major oxygen. (Dragon Girl has had pneumonia enough times that I know more than a thing or two about that evil desiese).
We all doubt they will be doing the biopsy tomorrow since he has a fever right now. We shall see...
My mom took him to the ER this afternoon at the urging of his oncologist. She sat there with him until 9pm when he begged her to go home and get some food and rest. He didn't have a room yet but he's being taken care of in one of the ER cubicles.
She said that he's pink now and very chatty (opposite of how he was when she took him).
I think this is his pneumonia coming back with a vengence. I didn't think the antibiotics he was on when he was here were working well enough. He was on the last few days of a 10 day course and he looked and acted like someone who needed to be on some major oxygen. (Dragon Girl has had pneumonia enough times that I know more than a thing or two about that evil desiese).
We all doubt they will be doing the biopsy tomorrow since he has a fever right now. We shall see...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
My Dad
Well.... I was all prepared to post about the many adventures of our silly side-by-side refridgerator. It has been acting up lately but we've kept it working despite it's complaints. Life has decided to take a different turn that we were all unprepared for.
My dad has been basically well his entire life. Hardly ever getting sick. About 8 - 9 years ago I started noticing his memory not being quite as good as I know it had been. A few years back he finally was diagnosed with dimentia. Several of his siblings have been diagnosed with either dimentia or alzheimers.
It is easy for me to see changes in my dad since I don't see him all that often. We live about 600 miles away from my parents.
My dad was just up here for one of his brother's funeral. When I greeted him upon his arrival I noticed that he looked like walking death. It is normal to be quite tired after such a long drive but he was more drained than normal. His skin looked grey - he had an "old person" smell to him - his memory was even more out of whack than when I had last seen him (7 months ago). His appetite use to rival my brother's (who drove the whole way for this trip). Now, my dad eats less than my 2 year old daughter.
I cried myself to sleep thinking that he wouldn't wake up in the morning. Thankfully he did. Many prayers have been said for him since I first saw him.
Well... The day before he came up here he had had a CAT scan of his abdomen. A Urologist had ordered the scan to find out why certain things were showing up on lab tests. Turns out that everything this doctor was looking for were just fine. BUT... (Monday) He was quickly referred to an Oncologist (cancer doctor). Turns out that something showed up on the CAT scan that wasn't good. Today (Tuesday) he had his appointment. They have to do a biopsy to find out just what they're dealing with but so far we know that my dad has a mass on his pancreas as well as 2-4 "spots" in his liver.
We're in limbo until he can get the biopsy done and get the results back. Thankfully everyone is working in super fast forward mode. If he hadn't been here for the funeral things would have been happening last week.
Saturday (the day my dad and brother went back home) was my dad's 77th birthday. It has been hard to watch this strong, loud, "John Wayne" type of man change to this "child" (with still a bit of fiestyness) over the recent years.
He's had MANY jobs over the years. He grew up on a farm raising cattle for milk and meat. They also grew their own feed for the herd. He's been in the army twice and the air force once... He was a bull rider, truck driver, teacher, mechanic, a/c repair, exterminator to name a few. When he was a kid he was hit by a car (model A Ford) while learning to ride a bike. He was thrown about 120 feet and took over a year to recover. A farmer who was out in his fully grown corn field saw what he thought was a "child's rag doll" being thrown through the air. It wasn't until later that he realized that it was a kid (about 11 or 12 years old).
They haven't said "cancer" yet but I don't know what else they could possibly label the "mass" in his pancreas. All my research about pancreatic cancer shows a pretty grim outcome. Nevertheless.... prayers have and will be said over my parents as well as the doctors who have his life in their hands.
I'll post more updates as I learn more about what's going on.
My dad has been basically well his entire life. Hardly ever getting sick. About 8 - 9 years ago I started noticing his memory not being quite as good as I know it had been. A few years back he finally was diagnosed with dimentia. Several of his siblings have been diagnosed with either dimentia or alzheimers.
It is easy for me to see changes in my dad since I don't see him all that often. We live about 600 miles away from my parents.
My dad was just up here for one of his brother's funeral. When I greeted him upon his arrival I noticed that he looked like walking death. It is normal to be quite tired after such a long drive but he was more drained than normal. His skin looked grey - he had an "old person" smell to him - his memory was even more out of whack than when I had last seen him (7 months ago). His appetite use to rival my brother's (who drove the whole way for this trip). Now, my dad eats less than my 2 year old daughter.
I cried myself to sleep thinking that he wouldn't wake up in the morning. Thankfully he did. Many prayers have been said for him since I first saw him.
Well... The day before he came up here he had had a CAT scan of his abdomen. A Urologist had ordered the scan to find out why certain things were showing up on lab tests. Turns out that everything this doctor was looking for were just fine. BUT... (Monday) He was quickly referred to an Oncologist (cancer doctor). Turns out that something showed up on the CAT scan that wasn't good. Today (Tuesday) he had his appointment. They have to do a biopsy to find out just what they're dealing with but so far we know that my dad has a mass on his pancreas as well as 2-4 "spots" in his liver.
We're in limbo until he can get the biopsy done and get the results back. Thankfully everyone is working in super fast forward mode. If he hadn't been here for the funeral things would have been happening last week.
Saturday (the day my dad and brother went back home) was my dad's 77th birthday. It has been hard to watch this strong, loud, "John Wayne" type of man change to this "child" (with still a bit of fiestyness) over the recent years.
He's had MANY jobs over the years. He grew up on a farm raising cattle for milk and meat. They also grew their own feed for the herd. He's been in the army twice and the air force once... He was a bull rider, truck driver, teacher, mechanic, a/c repair, exterminator to name a few. When he was a kid he was hit by a car (model A Ford) while learning to ride a bike. He was thrown about 120 feet and took over a year to recover. A farmer who was out in his fully grown corn field saw what he thought was a "child's rag doll" being thrown through the air. It wasn't until later that he realized that it was a kid (about 11 or 12 years old).
They haven't said "cancer" yet but I don't know what else they could possibly label the "mass" in his pancreas. All my research about pancreatic cancer shows a pretty grim outcome. Nevertheless.... prayers have and will be said over my parents as well as the doctors who have his life in their hands.
I'll post more updates as I learn more about what's going on.
Monday, February 23, 2009
My online t-shirt store!!!!
Ok... I have a bunch of ideas floating in my head for t-shirts. Some serious, some silly, some just pretty. I'm testing out the market to see if it is worth it to purchase a storefront at CafePress. Right now I'm using their free store which has a LOT of limitations. One of the BIGGEST limitations is the fact that I can only put 1 design on 1 type of shirt. In other words... I couldn't pick the cheap value shirt for all my white t-shirt choices. I could only offer 1 design on the cheap shirt and had to pick more expensive shirts for each of my other designs. VERY frustrating.
I put a link to my store in the left column. I'll put it here too:
http://www.cafepress.com/mythconception
One of my other online names is "Myth" in case you were wondering why I am using that as a part of my store name.
Right now I only have 2 designs available in a white shirt and a dark/black shirt. I have several ideas just bursting to get out but I think I'll have to purchase a storefront first. I don't like having expensive t-shirts as my only option (with the free account limitations).
I'm not begging anyone to buy anything... I'm just "putting the info out there in the universe and seeing what happens". If you have any comments, suggestions or any shirt ideas that you are willing to give me for future shirts I'm eager to hear from you.
The idea for making t-shirt designs stemmed from my sweet hubby not being able to find paid work recently. I needed to find something that I can do from home while taking care of the kids (and growing larger by the day). The base price for the shirts is quite high so my profit from each is not much. I'm not assuming that this will make much if any income.... I'm HOPING this can help (in the long run) when times get tough and work is slow.
For what it's worth.... there it is.
I put a link to my store in the left column. I'll put it here too:
http://www.cafepress.com/mythconception
One of my other online names is "Myth" in case you were wondering why I am using that as a part of my store name.
Right now I only have 2 designs available in a white shirt and a dark/black shirt. I have several ideas just bursting to get out but I think I'll have to purchase a storefront first. I don't like having expensive t-shirts as my only option (with the free account limitations).
I'm not begging anyone to buy anything... I'm just "putting the info out there in the universe and seeing what happens". If you have any comments, suggestions or any shirt ideas that you are willing to give me for future shirts I'm eager to hear from you.
The idea for making t-shirt designs stemmed from my sweet hubby not being able to find paid work recently. I needed to find something that I can do from home while taking care of the kids (and growing larger by the day). The base price for the shirts is quite high so my profit from each is not much. I'm not assuming that this will make much if any income.... I'm HOPING this can help (in the long run) when times get tough and work is slow.
For what it's worth.... there it is.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Uncle Ariel's Funeral
My dad and brother came up from Arizona for my dad's brother Ariel's funeral. Tinkerbell and I went with them. I'm glad I did for many reasons. They would have not made it to the graveside service if I hadn't taken over driving and figured out the map given to everyone.... My dad has demensia and needs to be led in what was expected at times.... I was the only one to interpret for my deaf brother so he wasn't so bored. My dad's memory is sooo out of whack these days. He told me stoies that mixed places and events from 4 different states and several time periods. I have quickly realized that it is not worth the argument to correct him and just let him remember things as his mind wants to remember them. About 1/2 of the siblings have been diagnosed with either dimentia or Alzheimer's disease while the other 1/2 seem to be "aging gracefully".
I really liked Uncle Ariel. He was in the army for 3 years building bridges. He served during the Battle of the Bulge. For info on this battle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Bulge He was in charge of the first bridge to cross the Rhine river. He couldn't believe how the military is operated today. Men and women get sent out for 6 months to a year then get to go home. He said that back then you were sent out and were expected to stay there until either you died or the battle was over. No one knew how long the "journey" would last.
After he returned from the war he took up a job at a sign company. He made a large majority of the old Las Vegas flashy signs (Aladdin, Sahara etc...). He also made the first Micky Mouse at Disneyworld that stands on top of some building (I forgot which one). He also made signs for local movie theatres and restaurants. He LOVED his job. Other people paid for the materials and he got to create these amazing and beautiful things. He couldn't believe he got paid to do his job - he loved it that much.
He could build, tweak, or make just about anything that he or his family needed. I have fond memories of this tall man with a perma-grin on and a twinkle in his eye. Often times his family talked about his "hidden stash". Apparently he had a secret stash of goodies in the cellar that he thought no one knew about. It sounds like everyone knew about this stash but never told him they knew. LOL
He was 85 years old. They have 2 children and 2 great grandchildren. Their family never had much as far as "bling" but they sure have a TON of love and happy memories from over the years.
One of the funny comments made at the service was that Uncle Ariel will probably be most bummed by not being able to build anything in Heaven because probably everything that needs to be built has already been built.
I really liked Uncle Ariel. He was in the army for 3 years building bridges. He served during the Battle of the Bulge. For info on this battle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Bulge He was in charge of the first bridge to cross the Rhine river. He couldn't believe how the military is operated today. Men and women get sent out for 6 months to a year then get to go home. He said that back then you were sent out and were expected to stay there until either you died or the battle was over. No one knew how long the "journey" would last.
After he returned from the war he took up a job at a sign company. He made a large majority of the old Las Vegas flashy signs (Aladdin, Sahara etc...). He also made the first Micky Mouse at Disneyworld that stands on top of some building (I forgot which one). He also made signs for local movie theatres and restaurants. He LOVED his job. Other people paid for the materials and he got to create these amazing and beautiful things. He couldn't believe he got paid to do his job - he loved it that much.
He could build, tweak, or make just about anything that he or his family needed. I have fond memories of this tall man with a perma-grin on and a twinkle in his eye. Often times his family talked about his "hidden stash". Apparently he had a secret stash of goodies in the cellar that he thought no one knew about. It sounds like everyone knew about this stash but never told him they knew. LOL
He was 85 years old. They have 2 children and 2 great grandchildren. Their family never had much as far as "bling" but they sure have a TON of love and happy memories from over the years.
One of the funny comments made at the service was that Uncle Ariel will probably be most bummed by not being able to build anything in Heaven because probably everything that needs to be built has already been built.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
I want to wish everyone a happy valentine's day.
15 years ago today my hubby and I got engaged. He took me out to the end of the dock at a local lake.... it was FULL of small ice burgs creaking and groaning as they rubbed into each other with each small roll of the water. It was amazing and erie at the same time. We were all alone in his Stingray. Only a single lamp post was there to spy on this nervous young man and a bewildered and frozen girl.
The rest of the story will remain in our memories.
15 years ago today my hubby and I got engaged. He took me out to the end of the dock at a local lake.... it was FULL of small ice burgs creaking and groaning as they rubbed into each other with each small roll of the water. It was amazing and erie at the same time. We were all alone in his Stingray. Only a single lamp post was there to spy on this nervous young man and a bewildered and frozen girl.
The rest of the story will remain in our memories.
Monday, February 9, 2009
still here . . . nothing new
Hey all - I just wanted you all to know that I'm still around. I just have nothing really interesting to update. Our biggest client (and typically our only client) has told us that payment of invoices have been delayed until further notice. My mind has been very busy trying to scrounge for food and necessary items when no $ is readily available. It is soooooo frustrating when my sweet husband has already put in the long hours to earn the $ we're waiting for. Also, the man he works for is a very dramatic sort which makes working for this man less than desireable on many occasions.
Thankfully, we have some family that have been blessed with $ we could borrow. It's not enough to live on for 2 months but it will have to do since we don't have any other choices before us. I HATE being a liability in the world.
Van update - it's still dead. Hard to get something fixed when we don't have the $ to buy the parts.
Job update - hubby is going to visit some places today and see what he can stir up. I think he's going to talk with some past clients first then hit the pavement on search for a new possibility. My heart aches for him. If it wasn't for his long term health issues he could have and would have taken up a "real job" somewhere a long time ago. He is kinda forced to be self employed because he never knows when he's going to have a "bad day" and need to not work that day. Bad days usually come in clusters knocking him out for several days. He is just so dang talented and well rounded in his field that he is a huge asset when he can find work and when he has good health.
Baby update - The little one is moving and squirming like normal. Sometimes keeping me awake when things get too strong and intense. We did have the "big ultrasound" a couple of weeks ago. Everything looked normal - we looked for the issues we have with Power Ranger and did not seem to have any of those problems. As far as the tech could tell (we both agree from what we could see) we're having a little girl. So.. now the search is on for a name for this little one. I've started a list but nothing has really jumped out at me yet. Hubby is working so hard on getting $ and work that coming up with names are not a high priority right now. I've had to be on self imposed bedrest lately. I've always had issues with preterm labor and this weekend I had some pains in areas that made both hubby and I nervous. I am less than a week away from the magic line drawn between miscarriage and preterm labor (if this little peanut decides to emerge early). I'm hoping to go at least as long as Power Ranger (35 weeks) but more hopeful for when I had Tinker Bell (37 weeks). The twins (Dragon Girl and Jabber Box) were born at 29 weeks. The day after their b-day I'll be that far along with this peanut. So, if some of you don't see me for quite some time just know that I'm laying low trying to keep this one baking as long as possible.
My nephew that is only a year and a few months younger than myself recently had surgery to remove a brain tumor. I've been greatly wrapped up with what's going on with him. I need to go get an update on how he's doing. I have some really fond memories of growing up with this nephew. He's 1/2 Samoan but looks 100% Samoan. For 1 year we went to the same high school. We even had the same math teacher - different class times though. We shocked a LOT of people. Most thought we were BF/GF since we were so at ease with each other and teased each other so much. You should have seen their eyes pop out of their heads when he would proudly announce that I was his aunt. I'm grinning right now just thinking about some of those moments. Now he's married and has 2 beautiful little boys. My heart aches for what he, his wife and kids as well as my sis and all the rest of the family are going though. So far he has bounced back rather quickly. Last I heard he's still sleeping a LOT. They were supposed to find out the pathology results this past week. I hope that no news it good news.
So, there you have it. I hate wondering what's up with someone and not finding updates so that's why I wrote this. Just in case anyone actually is interested and stops by I wanted to have some news here waiting for you. I know this message has ended up MUCH longer than I originally intended and I'm sorry for the long windedness of it all. Hope your day / evening goes well . . . Later.
Thankfully, we have some family that have been blessed with $ we could borrow. It's not enough to live on for 2 months but it will have to do since we don't have any other choices before us. I HATE being a liability in the world.
Van update - it's still dead. Hard to get something fixed when we don't have the $ to buy the parts.
Job update - hubby is going to visit some places today and see what he can stir up. I think he's going to talk with some past clients first then hit the pavement on search for a new possibility. My heart aches for him. If it wasn't for his long term health issues he could have and would have taken up a "real job" somewhere a long time ago. He is kinda forced to be self employed because he never knows when he's going to have a "bad day" and need to not work that day. Bad days usually come in clusters knocking him out for several days. He is just so dang talented and well rounded in his field that he is a huge asset when he can find work and when he has good health.
Baby update - The little one is moving and squirming like normal. Sometimes keeping me awake when things get too strong and intense. We did have the "big ultrasound" a couple of weeks ago. Everything looked normal - we looked for the issues we have with Power Ranger and did not seem to have any of those problems. As far as the tech could tell (we both agree from what we could see) we're having a little girl. So.. now the search is on for a name for this little one. I've started a list but nothing has really jumped out at me yet. Hubby is working so hard on getting $ and work that coming up with names are not a high priority right now. I've had to be on self imposed bedrest lately. I've always had issues with preterm labor and this weekend I had some pains in areas that made both hubby and I nervous. I am less than a week away from the magic line drawn between miscarriage and preterm labor (if this little peanut decides to emerge early). I'm hoping to go at least as long as Power Ranger (35 weeks) but more hopeful for when I had Tinker Bell (37 weeks). The twins (Dragon Girl and Jabber Box) were born at 29 weeks. The day after their b-day I'll be that far along with this peanut. So, if some of you don't see me for quite some time just know that I'm laying low trying to keep this one baking as long as possible.
My nephew that is only a year and a few months younger than myself recently had surgery to remove a brain tumor. I've been greatly wrapped up with what's going on with him. I need to go get an update on how he's doing. I have some really fond memories of growing up with this nephew. He's 1/2 Samoan but looks 100% Samoan. For 1 year we went to the same high school. We even had the same math teacher - different class times though. We shocked a LOT of people. Most thought we were BF/GF since we were so at ease with each other and teased each other so much. You should have seen their eyes pop out of their heads when he would proudly announce that I was his aunt. I'm grinning right now just thinking about some of those moments. Now he's married and has 2 beautiful little boys. My heart aches for what he, his wife and kids as well as my sis and all the rest of the family are going though. So far he has bounced back rather quickly. Last I heard he's still sleeping a LOT. They were supposed to find out the pathology results this past week. I hope that no news it good news.
So, there you have it. I hate wondering what's up with someone and not finding updates so that's why I wrote this. Just in case anyone actually is interested and stops by I wanted to have some news here waiting for you. I know this message has ended up MUCH longer than I originally intended and I'm sorry for the long windedness of it all. Hope your day / evening goes well . . . Later.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
How to be happy. . . .
Everyone is always chasing happiness. Perhaps a few videos will give you a pointer or two. Enjoy.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Guardian Angels
Do you ever have something bad happen and you realize "Man! We must have had a guardian angel watching over us tonight."?
I decided to take the kids to a museum 20 miles away for a few hours to give us all something to do. We have a year membership so the only cost to us was the gas getting there and back. No big deal. Even with being greatly outnumberd (4 kids to 1 pregnant adult) things went amazingly well. Only had a few "interventions" with Power Ranger. Jabber Box was a HUGE help with Power Ranger.
After 3 1/2 hours we felt the day had been seized and we were all ready to head home. The kids all fell asleep in the van on the drive home. It was dark already outside which helped to lull them to dreamland.
We had already determined that as a treat we would stop off at Arby's for dinner. We rarely eat out and I thought this might be a nice treat for us all.
I continued on the highway past our usual offramp to go to the one close to Arby's. In this short distance I felt like something had just happened to the van yet I couldn't see or feel anything different - yet. I got in the left turn lane and was amazed to find that the light had recently turned green and I wouldn't have to actually stop. As I entered the intersection I could now feel what had happened. The surpentine belt broke. My dash was dimmed and all the guages were varifying my guess. I lost my power steering and all the other goodies that come with having a fully working belt.
Much to my amazement... EVERY light I passed was GREEN. I had to make another left turn to head towards home and I typically have to stop at this light. Not tonight. There was a nice break in the traffic waiting for me to pass through.
I was able to get all the way home and into the garage. I unlocked the house door and turned on a light then went around the front of the van to open the sliding door and wake all my peacefully slumbering kids. It was when I was rounding the front when I heard the radiator blow.
Looking back on this trip.... If that belt had broken at any point prior to when it did we would have been stuck on a cold highway - in the dark - waiting for someone (if I could find anyone home and able to help) to come pick the kids and I up as well as waiting for a tow truck.
I feel truely blessed to have had this happen so close to home. I have had several experiences with this dang van having a fit about something and I was in an area where I could either get home or could pull into an autozone or checker parking lot and fix it myself. The last fit was when the breaks completely went out (some rear seal burst) and I was only 1/4 mile from home.
I tell ya.... I think we have an army of angels watching over us with the volume of problems with old cars that we've had over the recent years. One angel would simply not be enough. They would be much overworked.
(we are now accepting donations to our "get a new and reliable vehicle fund")
I decided to take the kids to a museum 20 miles away for a few hours to give us all something to do. We have a year membership so the only cost to us was the gas getting there and back. No big deal. Even with being greatly outnumberd (4 kids to 1 pregnant adult) things went amazingly well. Only had a few "interventions" with Power Ranger. Jabber Box was a HUGE help with Power Ranger.
After 3 1/2 hours we felt the day had been seized and we were all ready to head home. The kids all fell asleep in the van on the drive home. It was dark already outside which helped to lull them to dreamland.
We had already determined that as a treat we would stop off at Arby's for dinner. We rarely eat out and I thought this might be a nice treat for us all.
I continued on the highway past our usual offramp to go to the one close to Arby's. In this short distance I felt like something had just happened to the van yet I couldn't see or feel anything different - yet. I got in the left turn lane and was amazed to find that the light had recently turned green and I wouldn't have to actually stop. As I entered the intersection I could now feel what had happened. The surpentine belt broke. My dash was dimmed and all the guages were varifying my guess. I lost my power steering and all the other goodies that come with having a fully working belt.
Much to my amazement... EVERY light I passed was GREEN. I had to make another left turn to head towards home and I typically have to stop at this light. Not tonight. There was a nice break in the traffic waiting for me to pass through.
I was able to get all the way home and into the garage. I unlocked the house door and turned on a light then went around the front of the van to open the sliding door and wake all my peacefully slumbering kids. It was when I was rounding the front when I heard the radiator blow.
Looking back on this trip.... If that belt had broken at any point prior to when it did we would have been stuck on a cold highway - in the dark - waiting for someone (if I could find anyone home and able to help) to come pick the kids and I up as well as waiting for a tow truck.
I feel truely blessed to have had this happen so close to home. I have had several experiences with this dang van having a fit about something and I was in an area where I could either get home or could pull into an autozone or checker parking lot and fix it myself. The last fit was when the breaks completely went out (some rear seal burst) and I was only 1/4 mile from home.
I tell ya.... I think we have an army of angels watching over us with the volume of problems with old cars that we've had over the recent years. One angel would simply not be enough. They would be much overworked.
(we are now accepting donations to our "get a new and reliable vehicle fund")
Friday, January 16, 2009
Just another January...
Every year my sweet hubby works for X-Dance: http://www.x-dance.com/
He sets up the equipment (along with 1 other guy. This process is a BIG job.), runs the projector and has to sit through all those sports films. For most men this would be a dream job.... Being that neither my hubby or I are really into sports it's kinda a form of extended boredom/torture. LOL! Last year he started telling me about a film here or there. He's learning to appreciate them more I guess.
Although I basically lose my husband for a week (SUPER long work days/nights) I must say my favorite part is the swag bag at the end. He has been able to bring home enough fun little gadgets (headphones, backpacks, sunglasses, t-shirts etc..) to keep me happy.
It's kinda funny... my life is so boring that I find myself writing about my husband's life. Only thing going on with me is I worry about being home alone with 4 kids for a 4 day weekend. I wish we had some extra $... (well... any $ for that matter) so I could do some stuff with the kids. I rented some new movies for them to watch. I think I may get out one of our tents and put it up in the play room. They like to pretend they're camping out.
I'm still VERY nautious and just got a refill of my favorite anti-puke med to keep me happy. I am GRATEFUL to say that so far, this pregnancy is still plodding along quietly and boring. I LOVE that. I will take boring any day. Oh, and yes, I do feel the little peanut moving around.
He sets up the equipment (along with 1 other guy. This process is a BIG job.), runs the projector and has to sit through all those sports films. For most men this would be a dream job.... Being that neither my hubby or I are really into sports it's kinda a form of extended boredom/torture. LOL! Last year he started telling me about a film here or there. He's learning to appreciate them more I guess.
Although I basically lose my husband for a week (SUPER long work days/nights) I must say my favorite part is the swag bag at the end. He has been able to bring home enough fun little gadgets (headphones, backpacks, sunglasses, t-shirts etc..) to keep me happy.
It's kinda funny... my life is so boring that I find myself writing about my husband's life. Only thing going on with me is I worry about being home alone with 4 kids for a 4 day weekend. I wish we had some extra $... (well... any $ for that matter) so I could do some stuff with the kids. I rented some new movies for them to watch. I think I may get out one of our tents and put it up in the play room. They like to pretend they're camping out.
I'm still VERY nautious and just got a refill of my favorite anti-puke med to keep me happy. I am GRATEFUL to say that so far, this pregnancy is still plodding along quietly and boring. I LOVE that. I will take boring any day. Oh, and yes, I do feel the little peanut moving around.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Survived
Well... the holidays have come and gone.... we survived. I was sooooo careful to keep everyone pumped up on sleep and vitamins etc... Then we were brought an "extra gift" when the grandparents came for a visit. Croup for the little one and a nasty cold for me. Tinkerbell recovered rather quickly. Thank goodness. I'm almost back to my regular self...
Right now..... our biggest thorn is my husband's main client. This past year they changed their payment policies... One month my husband turned in his invoice and they said "oh, did we mention that we're paying 30 days out now?". Typically we would get paid within 2 weeks of submitting the invoice. Then about 2 months later we got this: "Oh, did we mention that we're now 60 days out for paying invoices?" So... here we sit. Broke but owed enough money that we could survive if they would just pay us. UGHHHH!!! Being self employeed has some benefits (being able to do what you enjoy for $ - picking when you will work - working from home).... I think it has more negatives at times: Having to say yes to certain work simply because it's work and not because you love it, Having to work MUCH longer hours than if you had a "regular job", No health insurance, Being at the mercy of your clients for getting paid, When one project is done you are then "unemployed" until someone calls again for work... etc...
Sorry... don't mean to post a bummer post. It's just how I've been feeling lately. I get so frustrated with life sometimes that it feels good to get it out.
Just for some fun: I am adding a poll to see what other people think we're having. In a couple of weeks we will be going in for our "big" ultrasound. As long as this little one cooperates we will find out what he/she is. I just thought it might be fun to see what everyone thinks is currently baking. We have 2 girls and 2 boys so our odds are 50/50 it seems.
Right now..... our biggest thorn is my husband's main client. This past year they changed their payment policies... One month my husband turned in his invoice and they said "oh, did we mention that we're paying 30 days out now?". Typically we would get paid within 2 weeks of submitting the invoice. Then about 2 months later we got this: "Oh, did we mention that we're now 60 days out for paying invoices?" So... here we sit. Broke but owed enough money that we could survive if they would just pay us. UGHHHH!!! Being self employeed has some benefits (being able to do what you enjoy for $ - picking when you will work - working from home).... I think it has more negatives at times: Having to say yes to certain work simply because it's work and not because you love it, Having to work MUCH longer hours than if you had a "regular job", No health insurance, Being at the mercy of your clients for getting paid, When one project is done you are then "unemployed" until someone calls again for work... etc...
Sorry... don't mean to post a bummer post. It's just how I've been feeling lately. I get so frustrated with life sometimes that it feels good to get it out.
Just for some fun: I am adding a poll to see what other people think we're having. In a couple of weeks we will be going in for our "big" ultrasound. As long as this little one cooperates we will find out what he/she is. I just thought it might be fun to see what everyone thinks is currently baking. We have 2 girls and 2 boys so our odds are 50/50 it seems.
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