I've been batting around the idea of starting up one of these things.
The reason I didn't want to do this is because I tend to be really open and say things while forgetting my audience. I may be able to say something to one person without care, knowing that they don't "know" the person I am referring to. If I were to just go on with whatever is on my mind (especially if it happens to be something that is irking me at the time) I run the chance of the person reading it and getting equally irked back at me.
I decided to go ahead and start one of these up and just see what happens. I won't be able to use this as a therapy session and get out all my anguish but I am hoping a place like this may help.
I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom) and I have a LOT of interactions with my kids. Whenever I get around adults I tent to run amock talking their ear off (my mom and Annette LOL) then I feel guilty for doing so. I'm hoping that this allows me to chill out and be more human rather than a vocally starved lunatic around adults.
I have several boards that I am a regular member of. Most of them don't know my name IRL (in real life) and most also do not know where I live. I like it that way. If you know me.... PLEASE DO NOT USE ANY PERSONAL NAMES OR LOCATIONS IN YOUR COMMENTS FOR SAFETY REASONS. I know of one person who got into some serious trouble by someone being able to put 2+2 together and figuring out who she was and where she lived etc.
For those of you reading this that don't know me. Look out! LOL! Ok.... Growing up I was a pretty dang good kid. I am youngest in my family. I didn't know it at the time but I have suffered my entire life from anxiety / panic attacks. It's a lovely thing to experience... I think everyone should try it. Just kidding. I have always felt that there are 2 sides to me. 1st is the logical side, safe, does what society wants me to do, practical, boring.... 2nd is the side that is bursting at the seams to get out. This is the side that gets stomped on by the anxiety.
I allowed the second side to run life for a while when I signed up for the film program at the University I attended. I had never felt more free in my entire life. I was finally doing the thing that I had dreamt of doing since I was young. I wanted to be a DP (Director of Photography). So what's the first job I had on a student film shoot?. . . . Set decoration. I helped set up a college classroom to appear to be a 5th grade elementary classroom. I was elated. I didn't care what I was doing or who I was doing it with. I just wanted to be THERE. At the time I was unaware that I had also just met my future husband. He was an Art Director (can be currently found on IMDB). He was only helping with set decoration along with me (and another newbie) since someone else had been "hired" to be the art director on this shoot. (Hired is in "" because no one gets paid on student film shoots).
I'm skipping over a BUNCH of life.......
Now I sit here and REALLY miss working on film shoots. I miss the odd characters that one meets while on a film shoot. Every single person there, from the director to the actors to the lowly PA's are all strong and strange personalities. If not... then they typically don't make it in the business. I LOVE all the crazyness. It also helped to be a 6'1" girl in a business typically dominated by men. I was tall enough to be taken seriously I guess. This is also where I learned (for the first time) how to use my girliness to get what I want. My boyfriend (now husband) would send me in to talk to someone to get something that HE needed. I don't recall having a problem acquireing anything and all I had to do was be nice and smile a lot. Flirting never hurt.
So.... I'm now a SAHM (as I said). I LOOOOVVVVVEEEEE my kids. They're amazing. For what the twins have been through in the first several years of their lives I am sooo impressed that they are who they are today. For those of you who don't know... they were born about 3 months premature. My daughter has had lung problems her whole life. Frequent hospitalizations for pneumonia. My son has had chronic ear infections. The twins are now 8 years old and down one set of tonsils (my son). The next one down is 5 (will be 6 later this year). He has a rare genetic disorder (first one the genetics counselor / doctor had ever seen in this state). He's going to a special ed school and starting to do much better. One of the few goals I had for him this year (kindergarden) was for him to be able to write his own first name. We're not there yet but sure trying. Our last one is 1 (nearly 2). She is our first one to be born "normal". No problems, only 3 weeks early which is considered to be full term. It blows me away to watch her play and listen to her talk. I didn't know that kids can be this smart at her age. She can easily pull a 5 word sentence out of her hat without any coaching. My 5 year old can't do that. Typically he likes his 3 word sentences.
Ok... there's a LOT more but I will stop there for now. I'm still trying to decide how to take this blog. To stay all nicey nicey or get real. I think I'll have to sugar coat any "issues" I may have. I need all the friends I can get in this life. I don't need to make unnecessary enemies just because I had a passing thought while blogging.
