I need to be more positive. There are days where I find it easier to cut myself down rather than find the better side of things. I need to keep days like this in check.
A year ago my husband finally introduced me to an actor (that he works with for a week every year) that I had a crush on since I was a young teenager. He was just being nice and asking me how my husband was able to snag me. My response to him was rather a rather negative view of myself. (I won't repeat it here)
That quick moment in my life has stuck with me pretty severe since then. It didn't dawn on me until a few days later that I was so negative. No one likes to be around negative people. Why was I putting my worst foot forward at a time I wanted to be one of my best?
Ok... so I've put on quite a few pounds with each pregnancy.... Ok... so I have a few grey hairs and I can't eat whatever I want without any consequences anymore. So what!?!?
I've lost over 40 pounds in 6 out of the past 7 months. I've hit a plateau and I need to get back into exercise mode. I am excited that I can wear regular jeans again and not sweat pants all the time. I have 5 amazing kids that I really enjoy watching them grow and change.
I don't know what I need but something needs to change. I NEED to be more positive... more happy... more content. This is my goal for 2010.
Confession time: I have a very hard time being around people who have more money than we do. The jealousy monster lurks just below the surface waiting for the chance to be heard. We have spent most of the past 15 years struggling just to keep our utilities on. When I hear that some family/friend went somewhere on a trip - rather than being happy for them and wanting to hear the details of their vacation my mind automatically heads towards... "must be nice to go on a trip.... must be nice to not have to worry how you're going to keep your mortgage paid or utilities on". I have found the only way I can "deal" with this bad trait is to just stay away from anyone who has more $ then we do. Needless to say... I don't get out much. This is another area where I could use some improvement.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Twas the night before Christmas...
Christmas Eve Checklist:
1. 3 year old screaming (check)
2. 9 year olds excited and asking to stay up to meet Santa (check)
3. 7 year old super excited about Santa one min then cranky the next (check)
4. Baby sleeping peacefully (check)
5. A full day of Christmas programming on TV (check)
6. Parents at the end of their ropes (check)
7. Broken water pipe shut off at old house (check)
8. Kitchen a disaster (check)
9. Baths done (check)
10. 3 year old tickled to alter personality to laughter (check)
11. Presents wraped (mostly... but still not done)
12. Stockings hung ( )
13. Sanity found ( )
14. Christmas cookies made to hand out to friends ( )
15. New Christmas stockings made ( )
16. Rest and relax ( )
1. 3 year old screaming (check)
2. 9 year olds excited and asking to stay up to meet Santa (check)
3. 7 year old super excited about Santa one min then cranky the next (check)
4. Baby sleeping peacefully (check)
5. A full day of Christmas programming on TV (check)
6. Parents at the end of their ropes (check)
7. Broken water pipe shut off at old house (check)
8. Kitchen a disaster (check)
9. Baths done (check)
10. 3 year old tickled to alter personality to laughter (check)
11. Presents wraped (mostly... but still not done)
12. Stockings hung ( )
13. Sanity found ( )
14. Christmas cookies made to hand out to friends ( )
15. New Christmas stockings made ( )
16. Rest and relax ( )
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Early Memories
Last week, while sitting around the table for dinner we started to share stories of our earliest memories. I have 2 very early ones. What I find interesting is that those memories are more surrounded by how I felt rather than so much of what happened.
One of my earlier memories was of when I was still in diapers. I remember running down the hallway, trying to catch up with my brother when I noticed that my bum was very warm and wet. I was VERY uncomfortable and wanted to be clean and dry. This was before modern throw-away diapers. These were the classic cloth diapers with the large safety pins holding it on with the vinyl dipaer cover on top. I remember always making noise when I walked and I did not like that either.
The second memory is (according to my mom I was about 2 years old). I followed my brothers outside in the backyard to go play. I ran to the far end of the yard where we had some grapefruit trees. I remember that was my favorite place to be. It was cool and smelled sooo good. They had yellow metal Tonka trucks that they used to dig up the dirt. I couldn't figure out how to make them do what my brothers could make them do. I LOVED to play with the dirt that they dug up. I would slide my feet into a hole they made and bury my feet in the cold dirt.
Both of these experiences happened in California where I lived for the first 3 years of my life. I have a few other memories but they are so small and vague that there's not much left of those.
I am amazed at what my brain choses to remember and what it considers trivial.
We asked the twins what they could remember. Jabberbox asked us what he could remember. LOL... I forgot to purchase the mindreading cap the last time I visited the parenting store.
Dragon Girl had a very clear memory. She was in her crib laying on her right side. She said she was scared and crying and she felt a warm gentle hand rubbing her back. This calmed her down and helped her fall aslseep. She doesn't remember either of us being there. My husband mentioned that he would often times lay on the floor of their room and stick his hand through the bars on the crib and rub some part of their body (arm, leg, head, back etc...) to help calm down. I also remember sitting on the floor for hours rubbing a baby's back trying to calm them without them seeing me. If they could see our faces they would stand up and want to be picked up. If we hid they would just roll over and go to sleep.
One of my earlier memories was of when I was still in diapers. I remember running down the hallway, trying to catch up with my brother when I noticed that my bum was very warm and wet. I was VERY uncomfortable and wanted to be clean and dry. This was before modern throw-away diapers. These were the classic cloth diapers with the large safety pins holding it on with the vinyl dipaer cover on top. I remember always making noise when I walked and I did not like that either.
The second memory is (according to my mom I was about 2 years old). I followed my brothers outside in the backyard to go play. I ran to the far end of the yard where we had some grapefruit trees. I remember that was my favorite place to be. It was cool and smelled sooo good. They had yellow metal Tonka trucks that they used to dig up the dirt. I couldn't figure out how to make them do what my brothers could make them do. I LOVED to play with the dirt that they dug up. I would slide my feet into a hole they made and bury my feet in the cold dirt.
Both of these experiences happened in California where I lived for the first 3 years of my life. I have a few other memories but they are so small and vague that there's not much left of those.
I am amazed at what my brain choses to remember and what it considers trivial.
We asked the twins what they could remember. Jabberbox asked us what he could remember. LOL... I forgot to purchase the mindreading cap the last time I visited the parenting store.
Dragon Girl had a very clear memory. She was in her crib laying on her right side. She said she was scared and crying and she felt a warm gentle hand rubbing her back. This calmed her down and helped her fall aslseep. She doesn't remember either of us being there. My husband mentioned that he would often times lay on the floor of their room and stick his hand through the bars on the crib and rub some part of their body (arm, leg, head, back etc...) to help calm down. I also remember sitting on the floor for hours rubbing a baby's back trying to calm them without them seeing me. If they could see our faces they would stand up and want to be picked up. If we hid they would just roll over and go to sleep.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
cute kitten
Ok... I totally stole this from my friend's facebook post. I had to .... it's sooo dang cute!
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