I just got a call a few minutes before midnight Monday July 27th.....
wow....
This really hurts....
I HATE CANCER!!!!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Dad update 7-27-09
My mom called everyone yesterday to give us an update on dad. Looks like he could go any day now. Friday was the last day he drank anything. My mom has been trying every day, several times a day to get him to drink anything - even just water. He spends his days now with his eyes closed most of the time.
When we left to return home on the 21st he was already looking like he was ready to go. He slept a LOT and is getting quite stiff. It's hard to turn his head to look at anything. He seems to have turned his head to face the window and likes it that way.
My husband and I are putting together a video about dad. It will play during the viewing in an area that people can mingle and see it. Mom is sending up several items for me to scan to add to the video. My dad has lived an amazing life. He's been to a lot of places and "worn several hats" in his lifetime.
Dad has beem:
-in the army
-in the air force
-served in Japan and France
-a farmer/rancher
-a truck driver for Swift
-a high school teacher
-a mechanic for Arizona state motorpool
-a rodeo bullrider
-a little league baseball coach
-a temple worker
-he built a water truck (used for construction)
-he could fix anything - it won't be pretty but it will work
There's more but those are the highlights. My dad has taught me a LOT. Main thing I've learned from him is how to fix just about anything. Nothing is impossible to figure out even if right now I don't know how to fix it.... I can learn.
My dad has not been a saint all his life.... He did have a fierce temper sometimes (where I got my fisety streak from). Thankfully he mellowed out over the years. Old age does have its good points. Dad was born a member of the LDS church then just quit going for a time. It was when he was still in the military that he thought "there must be something better than this". He pulled out his military issue Book of Mormon and started reading. It didn't take long before he became active again. I'm grateful he did.
I'm sure I will learn a lot more about dad in the next few weeks. I'll post anything interesting when I can. Posting here is very helpful. I can get stuff out of my system without having to worry about my voice cracking or tears starting to flow. I know dad passing will be mercy for him... it's just hard to lose a loved one no matter how sick they are at the moment.
When we left to return home on the 21st he was already looking like he was ready to go. He slept a LOT and is getting quite stiff. It's hard to turn his head to look at anything. He seems to have turned his head to face the window and likes it that way.
My husband and I are putting together a video about dad. It will play during the viewing in an area that people can mingle and see it. Mom is sending up several items for me to scan to add to the video. My dad has lived an amazing life. He's been to a lot of places and "worn several hats" in his lifetime.
Dad has beem:
-in the army
-in the air force
-served in Japan and France
-a farmer/rancher
-a truck driver for Swift
-a high school teacher
-a mechanic for Arizona state motorpool
-a rodeo bullrider
-a little league baseball coach
-a temple worker
-he built a water truck (used for construction)
-he could fix anything - it won't be pretty but it will work
There's more but those are the highlights. My dad has taught me a LOT. Main thing I've learned from him is how to fix just about anything. Nothing is impossible to figure out even if right now I don't know how to fix it.... I can learn.
My dad has not been a saint all his life.... He did have a fierce temper sometimes (where I got my fisety streak from). Thankfully he mellowed out over the years. Old age does have its good points. Dad was born a member of the LDS church then just quit going for a time. It was when he was still in the military that he thought "there must be something better than this". He pulled out his military issue Book of Mormon and started reading. It didn't take long before he became active again. I'm grateful he did.
I'm sure I will learn a lot more about dad in the next few weeks. I'll post anything interesting when I can. Posting here is very helpful. I can get stuff out of my system without having to worry about my voice cracking or tears starting to flow. I know dad passing will be mercy for him... it's just hard to lose a loved one no matter how sick they are at the moment.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
visiting dad
Wow! I was totally not prepared to see my dad. I have talked to him on the phone and knew he was not "his old self". I knew he hasn't been eating much (cancer does that) .... but WOW! I just saw him in Feb. He looks sooooo different. Basically skin and bones. I think he's about 6'3" and use to weigh about 260lbs. We all guess he's about 180 now - maybe less. He still has strength in his arms to help us lift him and scooch him up in the bed. He is completely bed bound now. Fighting some evil looking bed sores. The good thing is he doesn't feel any pain when he's just laying there.
My brother said dad took a huge downturn about 2 weeks ago. He's expecting dad to not make it past this month. I'm thinking he'll make it into next month. Either way you look at it.. not much longer now.
We've all come to terms with losing dad. It will still be sad when he does go but I think we've all greived in our own ways at just the thought of dad not being here any more.
I got to say "I love you" to him last night. He held up his hand and I held his. He gave my hand a pretty good squeeze and said "I love you too". THAT is why I came. Dad has good days and bad days. He's "not home" most of the time. I found an open window in his constant fog and was able to say in person what I wanted him to hear. Then again... he's always known that I love him. After helping mom change his diaper this morning my kids all spontaneously gathered around him and said that they loved him. He was alert and able to respond. His smiles are worth a million bucks!
My husband should be joining us on Monday... just in time to help us drive back home on Tuesday. Our van is not behaving and I don't want to be stuck on some desert road by myself with 5 young children. He has been home and working this entire time. He flew back just a couple of hours after helping us drive here.
This is just a short update.. I gotta go now. I can hear dad coughing and I need to see if he needs anything. I hope you all are doing well.
My brother said dad took a huge downturn about 2 weeks ago. He's expecting dad to not make it past this month. I'm thinking he'll make it into next month. Either way you look at it.. not much longer now.
We've all come to terms with losing dad. It will still be sad when he does go but I think we've all greived in our own ways at just the thought of dad not being here any more.
I got to say "I love you" to him last night. He held up his hand and I held his. He gave my hand a pretty good squeeze and said "I love you too". THAT is why I came. Dad has good days and bad days. He's "not home" most of the time. I found an open window in his constant fog and was able to say in person what I wanted him to hear. Then again... he's always known that I love him. After helping mom change his diaper this morning my kids all spontaneously gathered around him and said that they loved him. He was alert and able to respond. His smiles are worth a million bucks!
My husband should be joining us on Monday... just in time to help us drive back home on Tuesday. Our van is not behaving and I don't want to be stuck on some desert road by myself with 5 young children. He has been home and working this entire time. He flew back just a couple of hours after helping us drive here.
This is just a short update.. I gotta go now. I can hear dad coughing and I need to see if he needs anything. I hope you all are doing well.
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